25 THOUGHTS ON 'APNE'…

This is not a review… it’s just a fun post to note down some of my thoughts on ‘Apne’ (the Deol-fest). Some thoughts are sensible (I hope), others silly, but all part of the experience I had seeing the movie. It was really a lot of FUN, for me 'Apne' is a solid all-round entertainer. Many thanks to Nitin ji (of the wonderful chakpak.com) for all his support!

1. The scripting could have been better, tighter – the pacing was off. They tried to do too much in too little time. A lot of scenes should’ve landed on the cutting room floor, to give the better scenes ‘room to breathe’…

2. How cute was Dharam Ji? Yup, he’s still got it.

3. Who was that Igbo guy (“I told you, don’t go near the ring!”)? That was amazingly hilarious!! The guy was quickly christened ‘Chidi’ by the other cinemagoers. Up Naija! Igbo kwenu!!

4. The music was not as bad as I thought it would be – it was actually rather nice. Nice one, Mr. Reshammaiya – I may not be your biggest fan, but I don’t think you did badly at all.

5. The song picturizations were absolutely great (well, except ‘Mehfuz Rakhta Hoon’ – it was just barely ok). I loved that they didn’t try to make poor Sunny dance – the choreography was all really nice and natural, and the placement of the songs flowed well with the story. Dharmendra made me cringe a little, especially when he whipped his shirt out of his trousers – it was so great to see him having fun, though.

6. Ok, ‘cut me, Papa, cut me’ was a bit unnecessary… especially since we didn’t actually see any cutting! I’m torn with this one – on the one hand, as a MASSIVE ‘Rocky’ fan, I’m very appreciative of any nods to the Rocky films; but on the other hand… it was a little bit unnecessary.

7. The girls done good – Shilpa was so cute and I loved her acting (I’m warming to that chick these days). Katrina was lovely as ever, and her acting was not too bad. I didn’t think she could convince me that she was a doctor, but it kinda worked. She needs to work on that Hindi though. Loved the chick who played Dharam’s daughter as well – must find out who she is, I know I’ve seen her in something before...

8. Still on Shilpa, I think it was a silly idea to have her come into Sunny’s match so late… it made no sense in the context of the type of relationship they’ve convinced us that they have. And it just didn't work. ‘He… he’s my husband…’. Blech. (sorry)

9. Ok, so obviously the place they were claiming was the USA was so obviously not… no matter how many times they tried to flash the American flag in our faces. Actually, this is probably a good point at which to state clearly that this movie is NOT realistic. It’s a lot more fun when you realise you can’t make it realistic – it’s just not. It’s just a movie, chill out and enjoy it (at least, that’s what I did).

10. Back to Shilpa, she had Sunny had lovely chemistry together (based on ‘Indian’, in which they co-starred, I was expecting otherwise). It totally worked. Good on them.

11. I’ve always rather liked me some Sunny, he’s a big, brawny, often corny, quiet, tough-guy-softie – and I really liked him here. He was so adorable – his part was really emotional and he totally keyed into the emotion and made you believe him. Loved his fights with the ‘Luca Garcia’ character (angry Sunny rocks!) – and the swearing match with Luca (‘Bleep!’ ‘Bleeeep!!’ ‘Bleeeeeep!!!’) was absolutely hilarious! Loved his fights with his Daddy! Go Sunny! Go Sunny! I need to find me some more Sunny… he’s a guilty pleasure for me now (with all the emphasis on the ‘pleasure’ part).

12. Dharmendra’s character was rather selfish (and a little bit mean) for much of the film – I don’t think anyone could watch this without screaming at him the words ‘get over it, it’s not all about you!!’ at some point. Thankfully, he did redeem himself eventually, but it was all a bit rushed and bogus towards the end. As noted in thought number 1, the big problem of this film was the plot-pacing – they should have devoted less time to his self-obsession and more to him coming to his senses. The ending was a bit WTH?

13. If you don’t like outpourings of emotion, ‘Apne’ is not for you – it might make you gag. I thought the emotion was lovely, it didn’t get in the way of the film, and it just flowed so well from one character to the other. It was all really sweet and natural, the emotion was obviously real and sincere (if sentimental). I loved it. But then, I’m… obviously very partial.

14. Ooh, Dharam broke some glass with his bare hands (like he did in ‘The Burning Train’). Woohoo… I luuurrve it when he breaks glass! And he still does it sooo well…

15. Anyone who doesn’t get excited at Bobby’s miracle moment has a stone for a heart, I tell you. That was maaad exciting! Hot stuff…

16. Bobby bhaiyya, we’ve had this talk before… this longish, curly-furly hair that you so clearly favour does you no favours. You look so much nicer with short hair. And please, go easy on the hair dye and highlights – you must’ve had like 20 different hues in your hair in this film alone. That stuff’s not good for your hair, ok? One day it might all start to break off from all the heat application - all the tweaking, teasing and colouring – and where would that leave you? By the way, you did very well in ‘Apne’. You were rather cute, if slightly cheesy (but hey, it's a Deol-fest - I expected nothing else). Big ups.

17. Two brothers. One is covered in hair all over his chest and back – a veritable pelt. The other’s chest and back? Smooth as a baby’s bottom. Very striking contrast. (Don’t look at me funny, I’m sure everyone else who sees the movie notices this too!) If it’s a wax job in Bobby’s case (and I seriously doubt it – that ish was sooo smooooth), then I want his wax-person’s number (not for my chest of course)… and while he’s at it, he might want to hand it to Sunny too (at least for the rug on his back and shoulders). Ok, enough hair talk. I'm starting to feel grossed out.

18. The flashbacks to Dharam’s character’s boxing youth could’ve been better. They were a bit shoddily done – more work should’ve gone into making it look authentic. They really didn’t have to over-use that same black-and-white photo of young Dharam-ji that’s all over the internet (the said photo is even on this blog, in one of my ‘All About Dharmendra’ posts…)

19. The pacing could’ve been so much better. Some parts felt a bit incoherent and unfinished, some parts felt rushed, some parts were a bit overwrought. But hey, you can’t have it all.

20. The movie was a lot of fun to watch!!! A LOT!!! The drama, the excitement, the emotion… I enjoyed every single minute of it. (How could it have been otherwise?) But it wasn’t just me, (I would probably have been pleased with almost anything, even dross) everyone in the hall (including some people who mentioned that they haven't seen a Hindi movie since they were kids) was laughing, applauding, passing funny comments… there were even a few screams. ‘Apne’ was really entertaining to watch.

21. If you have a problem with boxing, or more importantly, with boxing-related violence, then err... this ain’t for you! It’s not as violent as any of the other boxing movies I’ve seen (contrary to what some reviewers have said, I thought the violence was a bit toned-down), but I guess it’s kinda violent – lots of khoon and fractures and such.

I have a problem with boxing as a sport, but I am a huge ‘Rocky’ fan (go figure) – so the violence did not bother me at all. I loved watching the boxing scenes, and I thought they were very nicely done – I was a bit worried that they’d look horribly fake, but they looked really good for the most part. The make-up was pretty realistic and the Deols obviously did a bit of training for the movie. The punch-sounds were too loud though – but that’s a small quibble. Bigger quibble: the pacing problems of the film affected the boxing bouts – they didn’t seem to know when to cut things short or let things roll out a bit.

But I think, to be absolutely fair: they did very well all told. You can’t expect perfection when a film-maker’s doing something largely unprecedented. Bollywood hasn’t done this kind of stuff before, as far as I’m aware, and they did a very good job when you take that into consideration. They really managed to hold the viewers’ attention – made you feel like you were ringside. Shaabash!

22. How random was the sudden entry of Luca’s girlfriend, and all the “I love you babys”? That was way too random and fake. They should’ve kept that character out of the movie. It would’ve been nice to have her if there’d been time to develop her properly, but there’s only so much you can do in 3 hours…

23. What was with all the ‘Luca, we want blood!’, ‘Luca will eat you alive!’, ‘Luca will kill you, destroy you and send you to hell!’ (ok I made that last one up) signs? That was ridiculous. Oh well, it was funny in a macabre kind of way…

24. Kirron Kher is such a good, consistent actress – totally loved her in this. And she and Dharmendra were really good together – very natural. And Victor Banerjee was really great with Dharmendra too. Dharam ji was just so awesome to watch in general… I loved his performance… I love Dharam ji, I just love the man… I could go on and on about how much I loved watching him… so I’ll just stop.

25. Did I mention how much FUN this movie was? Delightful is the word. It was so much FUN!! LOVED it. Random thought: I loved all the Hinglish parts and the way they switched between languages. I loved when Dharam told Luca he’d pick up the Hindi with time. Fab. The emotional parts got me emotional, the funny parts made me laugh, the clumsy/fake/silly/ridiculous parts (and yes, there were a fair number of those) made me laugh, the action was very exciting… what’s not to love? Nothing, that’s what! I LOVE ‘APNE’!! Ok, brief teenage flashback over…

But… GO DEOL MEN! Ya’ll need to get together and make a sequel or something – or at least another movie with all three of you… (I know, it’s unlikely to happen, but this was so much fun – so I’ll just keep dreaming that they come up with another 3-Deol film, thank you very much…)