25 THOUGHTS ON 'APNE'…

This is not a review… it’s just a fun post to note down some of my thoughts on ‘Apne’ (the Deol-fest). Some thoughts are sensible (I hope), others silly, but all part of the experience I had seeing the movie. It was really a lot of FUN, for me 'Apne' is a solid all-round entertainer. Many thanks to Nitin ji (of the wonderful chakpak.com) for all his support!

1. The scripting could have been better, tighter – the pacing was off. They tried to do too much in too little time. A lot of scenes should’ve landed on the cutting room floor, to give the better scenes ‘room to breathe’…

2. How cute was Dharam Ji? Yup, he’s still got it.

3. Who was that Igbo guy (“I told you, don’t go near the ring!”)? That was amazingly hilarious!! The guy was quickly christened ‘Chidi’ by the other cinemagoers. Up Naija! Igbo kwenu!!

4. The music was not as bad as I thought it would be – it was actually rather nice. Nice one, Mr. Reshammaiya – I may not be your biggest fan, but I don’t think you did badly at all.

5. The song picturizations were absolutely great (well, except ‘Mehfuz Rakhta Hoon’ – it was just barely ok). I loved that they didn’t try to make poor Sunny dance – the choreography was all really nice and natural, and the placement of the songs flowed well with the story. Dharmendra made me cringe a little, especially when he whipped his shirt out of his trousers – it was so great to see him having fun, though.

6. Ok, ‘cut me, Papa, cut me’ was a bit unnecessary… especially since we didn’t actually see any cutting! I’m torn with this one – on the one hand, as a MASSIVE ‘Rocky’ fan, I’m very appreciative of any nods to the Rocky films; but on the other hand… it was a little bit unnecessary.

7. The girls done good – Shilpa was so cute and I loved her acting (I’m warming to that chick these days). Katrina was lovely as ever, and her acting was not too bad. I didn’t think she could convince me that she was a doctor, but it kinda worked. She needs to work on that Hindi though. Loved the chick who played Dharam’s daughter as well – must find out who she is, I know I’ve seen her in something before...

8. Still on Shilpa, I think it was a silly idea to have her come into Sunny’s match so late… it made no sense in the context of the type of relationship they’ve convinced us that they have. And it just didn't work. ‘He… he’s my husband…’. Blech. (sorry)

9. Ok, so obviously the place they were claiming was the USA was so obviously not… no matter how many times they tried to flash the American flag in our faces. Actually, this is probably a good point at which to state clearly that this movie is NOT realistic. It’s a lot more fun when you realise you can’t make it realistic – it’s just not. It’s just a movie, chill out and enjoy it (at least, that’s what I did).

10. Back to Shilpa, she had Sunny had lovely chemistry together (based on ‘Indian’, in which they co-starred, I was expecting otherwise). It totally worked. Good on them.

11. I’ve always rather liked me some Sunny, he’s a big, brawny, often corny, quiet, tough-guy-softie – and I really liked him here. He was so adorable – his part was really emotional and he totally keyed into the emotion and made you believe him. Loved his fights with the ‘Luca Garcia’ character (angry Sunny rocks!) – and the swearing match with Luca (‘Bleep!’ ‘Bleeeep!!’ ‘Bleeeeeep!!!’) was absolutely hilarious! Loved his fights with his Daddy! Go Sunny! Go Sunny! I need to find me some more Sunny… he’s a guilty pleasure for me now (with all the emphasis on the ‘pleasure’ part).

12. Dharmendra’s character was rather selfish (and a little bit mean) for much of the film – I don’t think anyone could watch this without screaming at him the words ‘get over it, it’s not all about you!!’ at some point. Thankfully, he did redeem himself eventually, but it was all a bit rushed and bogus towards the end. As noted in thought number 1, the big problem of this film was the plot-pacing – they should have devoted less time to his self-obsession and more to him coming to his senses. The ending was a bit WTH?

13. If you don’t like outpourings of emotion, ‘Apne’ is not for you – it might make you gag. I thought the emotion was lovely, it didn’t get in the way of the film, and it just flowed so well from one character to the other. It was all really sweet and natural, the emotion was obviously real and sincere (if sentimental). I loved it. But then, I’m… obviously very partial.

14. Ooh, Dharam broke some glass with his bare hands (like he did in ‘The Burning Train’). Woohoo… I luuurrve it when he breaks glass! And he still does it sooo well…

15. Anyone who doesn’t get excited at Bobby’s miracle moment has a stone for a heart, I tell you. That was maaad exciting! Hot stuff…

16. Bobby bhaiyya, we’ve had this talk before… this longish, curly-furly hair that you so clearly favour does you no favours. You look so much nicer with short hair. And please, go easy on the hair dye and highlights – you must’ve had like 20 different hues in your hair in this film alone. That stuff’s not good for your hair, ok? One day it might all start to break off from all the heat application - all the tweaking, teasing and colouring – and where would that leave you? By the way, you did very well in ‘Apne’. You were rather cute, if slightly cheesy (but hey, it's a Deol-fest - I expected nothing else). Big ups.

17. Two brothers. One is covered in hair all over his chest and back – a veritable pelt. The other’s chest and back? Smooth as a baby’s bottom. Very striking contrast. (Don’t look at me funny, I’m sure everyone else who sees the movie notices this too!) If it’s a wax job in Bobby’s case (and I seriously doubt it – that ish was sooo smooooth), then I want his wax-person’s number (not for my chest of course)… and while he’s at it, he might want to hand it to Sunny too (at least for the rug on his back and shoulders). Ok, enough hair talk. I'm starting to feel grossed out.

18. The flashbacks to Dharam’s character’s boxing youth could’ve been better. They were a bit shoddily done – more work should’ve gone into making it look authentic. They really didn’t have to over-use that same black-and-white photo of young Dharam-ji that’s all over the internet (the said photo is even on this blog, in one of my ‘All About Dharmendra’ posts…)

19. The pacing could’ve been so much better. Some parts felt a bit incoherent and unfinished, some parts felt rushed, some parts were a bit overwrought. But hey, you can’t have it all.

20. The movie was a lot of fun to watch!!! A LOT!!! The drama, the excitement, the emotion… I enjoyed every single minute of it. (How could it have been otherwise?) But it wasn’t just me, (I would probably have been pleased with almost anything, even dross) everyone in the hall (including some people who mentioned that they haven't seen a Hindi movie since they were kids) was laughing, applauding, passing funny comments… there were even a few screams. ‘Apne’ was really entertaining to watch.

21. If you have a problem with boxing, or more importantly, with boxing-related violence, then err... this ain’t for you! It’s not as violent as any of the other boxing movies I’ve seen (contrary to what some reviewers have said, I thought the violence was a bit toned-down), but I guess it’s kinda violent – lots of khoon and fractures and such.

I have a problem with boxing as a sport, but I am a huge ‘Rocky’ fan (go figure) – so the violence did not bother me at all. I loved watching the boxing scenes, and I thought they were very nicely done – I was a bit worried that they’d look horribly fake, but they looked really good for the most part. The make-up was pretty realistic and the Deols obviously did a bit of training for the movie. The punch-sounds were too loud though – but that’s a small quibble. Bigger quibble: the pacing problems of the film affected the boxing bouts – they didn’t seem to know when to cut things short or let things roll out a bit.

But I think, to be absolutely fair: they did very well all told. You can’t expect perfection when a film-maker’s doing something largely unprecedented. Bollywood hasn’t done this kind of stuff before, as far as I’m aware, and they did a very good job when you take that into consideration. They really managed to hold the viewers’ attention – made you feel like you were ringside. Shaabash!

22. How random was the sudden entry of Luca’s girlfriend, and all the “I love you babys”? That was way too random and fake. They should’ve kept that character out of the movie. It would’ve been nice to have her if there’d been time to develop her properly, but there’s only so much you can do in 3 hours…

23. What was with all the ‘Luca, we want blood!’, ‘Luca will eat you alive!’, ‘Luca will kill you, destroy you and send you to hell!’ (ok I made that last one up) signs? That was ridiculous. Oh well, it was funny in a macabre kind of way…

24. Kirron Kher is such a good, consistent actress – totally loved her in this. And she and Dharmendra were really good together – very natural. And Victor Banerjee was really great with Dharmendra too. Dharam ji was just so awesome to watch in general… I loved his performance… I love Dharam ji, I just love the man… I could go on and on about how much I loved watching him… so I’ll just stop.

25. Did I mention how much FUN this movie was? Delightful is the word. It was so much FUN!! LOVED it. Random thought: I loved all the Hinglish parts and the way they switched between languages. I loved when Dharam told Luca he’d pick up the Hindi with time. Fab. The emotional parts got me emotional, the funny parts made me laugh, the clumsy/fake/silly/ridiculous parts (and yes, there were a fair number of those) made me laugh, the action was very exciting… what’s not to love? Nothing, that’s what! I LOVE ‘APNE’!! Ok, brief teenage flashback over…

But… GO DEOL MEN! Ya’ll need to get together and make a sequel or something – or at least another movie with all three of you… (I know, it’s unlikely to happen, but this was so much fun – so I’ll just keep dreaming that they come up with another 3-Deol film, thank you very much…)

MY TEN: RANKING DHARMENDRA MOVIES (Part 1)

I'm suspending the follow-up to my 'Wedding Fever' post for the moment… I will come back to it soon… need to deal with something else first…

I’ve missed this blog… yes I have… for the entire month of July I can boast of a grand total of 1 post… been too busy working my butt off and basically running around like a bleary-eyed chicken with half its head cut off, to do much blogging.

On the more fun side, I’ve also been going to bridal showers and weddings (yes, the fever's still raging), meeting fellow bloggers (always interesting), and getting reacquainted with old ‘friends’; like the fab Neetu Singh, who I recently saw in ‘Deewaar’ (I had almost forgotten how much I love her, and speaking of ‘Deewaar’, it totally rocks, and I will come back to this point), and the Jackson 5 on ‘Maybe Tomorrow’ (isn’t it just fabulous when you’ve been away from a song you adore for a while, then you re-discover it and it feels like you’re in music heaven? I compare it to the feeling of being re-united with a long-lost lover and finding out (s)he loves you even more than (s)he did back then, although of course I know nothing aboutwhat that feels like)… but now I am rambling…

Now that I've gotten that pointless paragraph out of the way and rather randomly indulged the Neetu admiration a little, I can get down to the nitty-gritty of this post. My first post this month is all about Dharam-ji, the inspiration behind this blog – not surprising since he’s been on my mind a lot these days; not that he’s ever far from it – but ‘Apne’, his latest film with his sons Sunny and Bobby, has been released and I’ve been longing to see it. ‘Partner’ is currently showing at Nu Metro (I might catch it, I hear it's not half bad) and ‘Jhoom Barabar Jhoom’ is on at City, but there was no sign of the possible fulfilment of my Dharam dreams... until last week, when I received a very gratifying text message from my friend Uzo, with the long-awaited good news (drumroll please), that the Deol men will be kicking it at Silverbird.

Anyway, I have now seen 10 Dharmendra films (I know, still way too few for a person who has a blog dedicated to the man), and I thought it might be fun to rank them in order of preference… I mean, I’m never going to be here again. Of course, I will be seeing ‘Apne’ very very soon. I also have ‘Ram Balram’ at home, waiting for me to find the time to watch it – it’s a Dharam/Big B movie, from the 70s I think. I’ve watched a little bit of it and can confidently say it’s not quite a ‘Sholay’, but it's looking good and I’m looking forward to it.

This idea is not mine (the good ones rarely are). Credit goes to Carla (of the wonderful Filmi Geek and Sounds Like Power sites, both of which I am compelled to visit daily because they are just so good; she also has the Geek of All Trades blog which deals with her varied non-filmi interests - from African music to baseball to languages - and more). Carla loves Shabana Azmi and is putting together a 'Geek's Guide' to Shabana's movies.

So here’s my list… this is going to be incredibly tough because I like all these movies, for different reasons… I should probably note that I am ranking these movies based on two major criteria, both of which are equally important to me – the quality of the movie, and the quality of the Dharam-liciousness. So some movies that I would ordinarily regard as better overall just might take a backseat to the ones that have more 'Dharmendra-power'. And of course there is the power of sentiment and personal connection (and, I might as well just admit it… hotness), which may trump more, ummm, rational factors. You’ll see what I mean in a minute (I think).

Anyway, starting from number 10:

10.

Sadly, ‘Anpadh’ brings up the rear – sadly, I say, because I actually like this movie. And it is a very noble film, aimed at promoting the importance of female education and the trials women often undergo simply because of their gender. The film preaches education and enlightenment as a tool of empowerment for women. The late Nutan Behl, one of my favourite Indian actresses, puts in a strong, heartbreaking performance as the ‘anpadh’ who is thoroughly taken advantage of and wronged because of her lack of education. All good so far – but my, is this a dreary, sad film. It’s all a bit 'too' overwrought.

And then there's a young Dharam (the youngest I've seen him, so far)… playing a young (and immature), educated man who is semi-forced to marry an illiterate girl (his parents' eyes are on her substantial dowry). He marries her, and at first is captivated by her beauty, until he discovers his dulhan cannot read or write, cannot cook (yes, the omnipresent every-wife-must-cook idea rears its ugly head yet again), and generally can't do much of anything. He then proceeds to be horrible to her, until one fateful day, when he discovers how sweet and kind and forgiving she really is….. Expectedly, he falls in love with her and teaches her to read and write (in between stolen kisses and coy glances). Just when they are really happy, he dies in a tragic car crash and his wife continues to be confronted with misery after misery…

Dharam looks beautiful (yes, beautiful) in black-and-white here, good enough to eat really…but his part is rather short, and for most of it he's playing a shallow, unkind, inconsiderate prat… so this isn't really one of my fave Dharam performances. And the fact that 'Anpadh', for all its noble social commentary and well-crafted performances, did not really ‘capture’ me in general; keeps it down at the bottom of my list…

9.

At number 9, we have 'Pyaar Kiya To Darna Kya' – starring Kajol, Dharam-ji, and the Khan brothers (Salman and Arbaaz)…. Again, there isn't a whole lot of Dharmendra in this film. He plays a loving chacha who also happens to be a bit of a badass – for all his innocuous looks, he does not hesitate to beat up any goon who dares to threaten his family.

This was my first taste of 'older' Dharmendra onscreen – and I was so busy enjoying the fact that I was watching my hero, that I would probably have been happy watching him watch paint dry; but the truth is, he doesn't get a chance to do much in this film – rightly so, because the storyline is about the young lovers and he's a minor character. I also had some issues with his dubbing. Having said all that, though, it's quite a good, believable performance by Dharmendra, in a film I enjoyed far more than expected.

8.

Number 8 – and it's 'Jugnu'… a masala flick from the early 70s, starring Dharmendra and Hema Malini. 'Jugnu' is not a bad film, but it's not exactly all that, either. Dharam plays an action-hero type, an almost legendary thief who steals from the rich and uses the proceeds to run an orphanage and do other nice things. Hema (in a very good performance) plays the feisty daughter of a police chief. She first clashes with, and then falls for, our thief. 'Jugnu' has a lot of the 'right' elements – some good comedy, some exciting sequences (Jugnu's daring heists are not badly staged) and some good music (by SD Burman). But there's also stuff in there that's not so good – some cheesy one-liners, some poor plot pacing in the script, some scenes that were frankly boring, and a mysterious sort of fading-in/fading-out chemistry between the leads. I did like the fact that our ‘jugnu’ got his comeuppance in the end.

As I said, it's not a bad movie by any means, and the second half definitely trumps the first half; but it's no classic either. Dharam's performance could've been better – he seemed a bit uninspired sometimes, especially in the first half of the film…. 'Jugnu' just left me thinking it could've been better scripted, less tacky, tighter, fresher, more fun, more… something… but at the end of the day, it's quite watchable, and I guess that's good enough for some movies.

7.

Look for any potted biography of Dharam-ji, and you'll probably find a reference to his badly made 'muscle man' disaster flicks from the 80s. Most such biographies will tell you that making these movies was a huge mistake for Dharmendra because they lessened his credibility and umm… made him look a bit ridiculous. They might also mention that these films were basically B-movies with lots of cheesy special effects, screaming heroines that were much younger than Dharam-ji (a fact he apparently was quite proud of), and dodgy storylines…

My lucky number 7, 'Ghazab', might well be classified as one such movie. 'Ghazab' is a movie about twins – not a fun masala ride like 'Ram aur Shyam' or 'Seeta aur Geeta', but quite a sad one. One of the twins dies and then comes back as a ghost to beg his brother (hitherto unaware of his existence) to avenge his death. In a rather icky twist, the avenging twin ends up hooking up with the girl (played by Rekha) that the dead twin was in love with when he was alive. Want more weirdness? Avenging brother gets possessed by spirit of dead twin at some point, the girl 'they' love goes bananas then gets well again… and so on.

As my last paragraph shows, 'Ghazab' is certainly not for everyone. It's a little bit silly. But at times I could not help but laugh at the comedy between the twins and the silliness of a lot of the film. And the sad parts are actually rather poignant. The pacing of the story was quite good as well, actually – it held my attention all the way through. Plus there are a couple of cute songs in there – in particular, 'Jaane Jigar' is still remembered in Nigeria by a lot of people (forgot to mention that 'Ghazab' is one of the more popular Hindi films in Nigeria). Dharmendra's performance is interesting to me in this film, because he throws himself into the role, and it totally comes across to the viewer. His aptitude for comedy comes through, as does his affinity for physicality. I found 'Ghazab' very entertaining, and I will definitely watch it again.

6.

At number 6 is 'Seeta aur Geeta', in which Dharmendra takes a bit of a backseat to the fabulous Ms. Hema Malini. Hema basically runs away with this film, in which she plays a pair of very different twins. Dharam plays the love interest of one the twins. He's a happy-go-lucky gypsy-type who is more scarred by his past than he would ever dare to admit. Sanjeev Kumar (star of another famous twin-movie, 'Angoor', which I've just started watching – it's very funny so far) gets a bigger part than Dharam-ji in 'Seeta aur Geeta', mostly because Dharam gets the quiet twin who doesn't do much of anything, whereas Sanjeev gets the fun, feisty, fan-hopping twin, who's much more entertaining to watch (although the quiet twin was hilarious in the scene where her aunt dressed her up in some crazy clothes and forced her down the stairs – but I digress)…

The point I'm trying to make is that Dharam comes in a slightly distant third to Hema's ownership of the movie and Sanjeev's comic role as the feisty twin's love-interest. Dharmendra doesn't get that much screen time, but he does very well with what he's got – one of my favourite scenes is his side-splittingly funny reaction to the quiet twin's dive into the river. He's rather mischievous and cute with his little gold earring, and he plays his part in this enjoyable romp of a movie well. At the end of the day though, it’s Hema ki film.

So that's the bottom 5 of my top ten (and only ten). Five films are left for me to arrange in order of preference: 'Chupke Chupke', 'Guddi', 'Sholay', 'The Burning Train' and 'Life in a… Metro' (or is it ‘Life… in a Metro’? Whichever). Which do you think will be my number one? Which do you think will be my number five? (To be honest, I have no idea at this point!) If you have seen some of these movies, I would love to know you would rank them!!

At the very beginning of this post, I raved about 'Deewaar'… I was going to do a review of this film, but if you've been to Filmi Geek or The Bollywood Music Club recently, you'll find wonderful reviews that do it far more justice than I could ever hope to. If you haven't checked those sites out in the past few days, then you must – they've done a great job of summing up just what's so good about 'Deewaar' – it's just a really, really good film. (After reading the reviews, do yourself a big favour: find a copy of the movie and see for yourself how good it is).

Since Sanket and Carla have done such a fab job with reviewing this movie, I was gonna pack it in and move on to the next topic, until I realised that... aha... I've got something that those reviews, wonderful as they are, haven't got (isn't that, sort of, a line from 'The Wizard of Oz'?)… and that something is... screencaps galore! (and, I am forced to admit, multiple references to hotness, but that kinda follows on from the screencaps...)

So anyway, up next will be a very screencappy review of 'Deewaar'…

'APNE'

I had to post this cute picture on my blog:


It's Dharmendra (who seems to have lost quite a bit of weight), and his sons Bobby (don't you just love how he's hugging his dad close?) and Sunny. These three Deol men are getting ready for the release of their new movie (and first movie together), 'Apne'. Many, many thanks to Sanket for directing me to the photo. I really hope 'Apne' is a good movie, and I also hope that it gets a good reception when it comes out. So far, it looks promising. My fingers are crossed.