SANJAY LEELA BHANSALI: Sumptuous, Lush, Beautiful

It's been a while since I've done a Director's Round-Up... so here's one... with loads of screencaps... mainly of Aishwarya Rai... but please don't blame me for that if you're not an Ash fan - blame Sanjay Leela Bhansali!

I quite like Sanjay Leela Bhansali… he is a colourful figure – from his catfights with Farah Khan to his affection for kohl, to his occasional petulance and more-than-occasional pomposity; he has PERSONALITY. He can usually be found doing or saying something interesting – even outrageous - and that’s always fun. I like the fact that he puts himself out there and isn’t afraid to be mocked (which he usually is). I also really like his passion for film (and for actors) and his almost childlike response to both praise and criticism. But this post isn’t about Bhansali’s on-set tantrums, his complex relationships with other Bollywood personalities, his thwarted attempts to cast (and arguments with) Bebo, or his legendary love for his Maa… it’s about his work as a director.

Before taking on the directing mantle, Bhansali worked with prominent director Vidhu Vinod Chopra as assistant director (and screenwriter) on ‘1942: A Love Story’ (starring Anil Kapoor and Manisha Koirala), the classic gangster flick ‘Parinda’ (starring Nana Patekhar, Jackie Shroff and Anil Kapoor), and ‘Kareeb’ (with Bobby Deol and Neha). As an assistant director, SLB’s specialties were song picturisations, sound and dubbing – all very significant strengths that continue to be seen in the films he directs.

Since he started directing movies in 1996, Bhansali has certainly made a name for himself. More than that, he’s created a brand – there are certain things you can always expect to find in a Sanjay Leela Bhansali film. Here are what I think are 4 of his most striking trademarks:

Visual Appeal: nothing if not an aesthete (and one of the highest order), SLB loves to create beauty onscreen. He does lots of close-ups of his (usually stunning) stars, puts lots of painstaking detail into the composition of his scenes, and just always goes for the pretty… even in a mostly sober film like ‘Black’.

He also has a distinct fondness for colour… while ‘Devdas’ overdosed on lush reds and golds, ‘Saawariya’ is bathed in hues of blue… a fact memorably lampooned by Shahrukh Khan and Saif Ali Khan in their hilarious ‘Neela Neela’ sketch at the 2008 Filmfare Awards.



Romance & Tragedy: Bhansali loves a good, old-fashioned love story. Whether it’s a husband’s unrequited love (‘Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam’), a student’s love for her guru (‘Black’), an unstable girl’s overwhelming yearning for her storybook hero (‘Saawariya’), or a prostitute’s love for a drunken loser (‘Devdas’), there’s always a love story at the heart of SLB’s films.

And there’s also always elements of sadness and pain – in HDDCS Vanraj’s adoration of Nandini is pitted against Nandini’s love for Sameer; in ‘Black’ two lonely souls can only help each other to a certain extent; in ‘Saawariya’ Raj ends up broken-hearted despite his best attempts to sabotage Sakina's romance with Imaan; in ‘Devdas’ Chandramukhi’s pure and selfless love is poor proof against Devdas’s determination to self-destruct. There is rarely a happy ending for the protagonists in SLB’s tales of love, and even where there is one (as in HDDCS), it comes slowly and at a price (and it’s worth noting here that there are many who would disagree with me about HDDCS ending happily.)

Grandeur and Luxury: Bhansali loves to do things on a soaring, sweeping, grand scale. He loves to create fantasy in his films – an epic place far away from our mundane everyday lives… a place where strange, eventful things happen everyday. It’s never boring in his world.

His sets are so opulent as well… he likes gorgeous, glamorous things. Lots of lush, expensive silks, flowers, crystals and precious stones…. Sometimes, as with HDDCS, I love it. Sometimes, as with ‘Devdas’, I think he just goes way overboard! There was just way too much bling in that film… it just hurt my eyes sometimes!!

Music: SLB is very adventurous when it comes to the music in his films. He clearly adores music – his first film, ‘Khamoshi – The Musical’ was, as its name implies, a musical, and all his films have a strong musical element and lots of song picturisations (something I think he’s very good at). I also think he has a fantastic ear – something he doesn’t get much credit for. He is happy to take a chance on fresh, lesser-known musical talent – like Monty Sharma, Anjan Biswas and Ismail Darbar.

The music in his films is always so distinctive, creative and well-suited to the film. I think he is a genius at weaving songs into the fabric of his films… you can’t hear ‘Nimbooda’ without picturing Ash in HDDCS, ‘Chhabeela’ without thinking about Rani’s sass, ‘Dola Re Dola’ without picturing Madhuri and Ash in mid-twirl, or ‘Jab Se Tere Naina’ without picturing Ranbir in that infamous towel.

Bhansali is currently taking his love for music a step further by composing the songs for his 2010 project ‘Guzaarish’, a film which he calls ‘a tribute to Lata Mangeshkar’. Aishwarya and Hrithik, who made an effective jodi in ‘Dhoom II’ and ‘Jodhaa Akbar’, are set to co-star…. I think this is a pretty bold move; there aren't a lot of directors that also do good music (in mainstream Hindi cinema, I can only think of Vishal Bhardwaj at the moment (do you know of any others?) and of course Clint Eastwood in Hollywood).

Like most directors, SLB tends to work with the same crop of actors: Salman Khan shows up in 3 of his 5 films; and Aishwarya Rai, Rani Mukherjee and Zohra Sehgal show up in 2 each. He isn’t averse to new talent, though - he famously took a chance on two fresh faces when he cast Ranbir Kapoor and Sonam Kapoor in ‘Saawariya’. I think he gave each of them a really great showcase – the film may have flopped, but they each made very effective industry debuts. Others will disagree, but I think SLB is definitely an actor’s director. He may be a painstaking control freak, but I don’t think that he inhibits his actors – in fact, one might argue that he sometimes over-indulges them and fails to rein them in when necessary (case in point: SRK’s performance in ‘Devdas’).

I think he actually maximizes his actors’ talents – he capitalizes on Aishwarya’s beauty and formidable dancing skills while also giving her roles that maximize her modest acting talents. He capitalizes on Salman’s youthful exuberance while also allowing him to be shallow (apologies to Sallu fans – I like the guy, but I really don’t think he has loads of depth – and while we’re on the subject, I think SLB cast Salman appropriately in ‘Saawariya’ – let’s face it, his youthful charm has worn thin. This role (tiny as it was) had a little maturity to it, something Sallu Chacha desperately needs at this point). On the flipside, Bhansali gives Rani Mukherjee demanding roles (although he should have used her more in ‘Saawariya’ – she was the best thing about that film!), allowing her to put that powerhouse talent to good effect.

I also think the ability to write a screenplay that allows characters to grow, develop and express themselves through more than just their dialogues, is one of SLB’s strengths. I do sometimes think his focus on the characters’ nuances and foibles takes something away from the development of the story – sometimes (most strikingly in ‘Saawariya’) you’re just not sure where it’s all going. But I do think he writes a good screenplay.

Unlike Karan Johar, whose scriptwriting genius I find lies in his use of language and his ability to put together a thoroughly effective dialogue, I think Bhansali really knows how to ‘sketch’ a good scene – with SLB the body language and movements of the characters within their immediate environment is more important, more striking, than what actually comes out of their mouths. This I suppose is because he possibly thinks more in terms of visuals than words – something which can be a distinct strength (as in HDDCS – remember the chandelier scene, or the tram scene?) or a weakness (as in ‘Saawariya’ – great visuals, not a lot of substance). He seems happy to let someone else handle the dialogues while he focuses his energy on setting up his scenes and creating the ‘moment’.

Whew… who knew I had so much to say about Sanjay Leela Bhansali? He’s not even one of my favourite directors… anyway, to round off this roundup… I’ve seen 4 of Bhansali’s 5 films (I’m hoping to watch ‘Khamoshi’ soon – it’s generally very well-liked), and here are my brief thoughts on each of them….

BLACK: Rani Mukherjee hands in an amazing, sensitive performance as a blind, deaf and mute girl, Michelle McNally, who is helped by her teacher, Debraj Sahai (played by Amitabh Bachchan) to engage with the world around her. Later in life, Michelle gets a chance to return the favour. Ayesha Kapoor, the child actor who plays the young Michelle, is also pretty remarkable – speaking of which, Aamir Khan’s comments on the film kicked up quite a storm (see The Bollywood Fan's comments on the controversy here)…. I enjoyed this film for the stellar performances, the quietness, intensity and humanity of the drama, and the lovely dream-like quality it has.

HUM DIL DE CHUKE SANAM: HDDCS offers gorgeous visuals, beautiful music, and great performances by all the major players (especially Ajay Devgan, but Ash and Salman are very good too). Fake Italy (aka Hungary) really annoyed me – perhaps to an irrational extent, but I still really enjoyed it, and I love how it ended (although there are many who don’t). I think I’ve grown to appreciate it more with the passage of time, which doesn’t happen with a lot of films. I really love Filmi Girl’s 2-part write-up on the film – check it out.

DEVDAS: A very flawed film, but I think this is worth watching for the song picturisations, Madhuri Dixit’s poised, classy performance, Madhuri and Ash’s fantastic dancing, some excellent music, some very prettily staged scenes and Kirron Kher. I do so love SRK, but the less said about his highly annoying and unsympathetic portrayal of Devdas, the better. Oh dear.

SAAWARIYA: All the reviews of this film were so DIRE that I was pleasantly surprised by it. I didn’t love it, but it’s thankfully quite short, and worth watching for Rani’s sexy earthiness (especially in ‘Chhabeela’), Sonam’s gorgeousness, and of course, Ranbir in that towel… hot stuff. When I revisit this film, I watch ‘Chhabeela’ and ‘Jab Se Tere Naina’, flick through a couple of Sonam and Ranbir’s scenes, and really find that it’s not quite that bad!

SOORAJ BARJATYA: Music and Melodrama

More involved in distribution than film-making, Sooraj Barjatya has directed only a small handful of films – but several of them were such huge hits that he’s effectively made his mark on Hindi cinema as a director – specifically as a director of a specific type of film – the sentimental, schmaltzy, melodramatic ‘family drama’. Hallmarks of his movies include family celebrations (usually with gorgeous, heart-warming songs) and inter-generational conflict (typically resolved thanks to love, understanding and forgiveness – all done the desi way, of course).

Barjatya’s films always reflect – and even champion – so-called ‘traditional family values’ – values which are often decried as both unrealistic and anachronistic. Several of his films feature ‘arranged marriages’ between characters who, although they have no objections to spending the rest of their lives together, haven’t exactly had the opportunity to make such a life-changing decision with a person of their own choosing, after a reasonable period of discovery. The films also tend to endorse a model of marriage where the girl seems to set aside any aspirations or ambitions she may have had, in order to become the idealized ‘biwi aur bahu’.

In addition, Barjatya often seems to adopt the simplistic view (often seen in Bollywood – and also, by the way, in Nollywood (Nigerian cinema)) that 'Western' values are completely unwholesome and undesirable and worse, are some sort of raging virus out to destroy everything that the Indian family holds dear. This theme pops up in all the Barjatya films I’ve seen – the worst characters are those that try to look and speak ‘Western’ – they are immoral, greedy and uncaring about the needs of others.

I’m not going to weigh in on the debate as to whether there’s anything harmful or misleading in the ‘family values’ model adopted by Barjatya in his films – I think that everyone has a view on that. I will only say that as a lover of Bollywood films, I’ve learned to sift through the messages in various movies and to extract what (if anything) is of value to me, discarding whatever goes against my own worldview. And I will also say that my beliefs, I like to think, are pretty embracing of diverse views, and I sometimes (but by no means always) find that there’s value to be extracted from ideas that may at first go against the grain. And that’s a lot to say from someone who had nothing to say!

Before talking about the Barjatya films I’ve seen so far, I’ll just summarise what I love and (don’t love) about them. I like a formula that works, and his formula works for me – catchy, melodious music + beautiful, charming actors + some conflict + all-conquering love healing all wounds. I like it – it’s simple and it’s fun (for the most part). Let’s break it down.

The music: Barjatya uses music (and lots and lots of it) really well to heighten emotion and tug at those heart-strings, awakening feelings of nostalgia and tenderness. The melodies (usually provided by Raam Laxman) are simple, catchy (really infectious, actually), memorable and even sometimes shamelessly plagiarized (as in ‘Maine Pyar Kiya’). The song picturisations are usually really beautifully done, in my opinion. Schmaltzy and over-the-top as it sometimes is, I think the music is my favourite thing about his films.

The actors: Like every director, Barjatya has his ‘MVPs’ – actors that understand how to effectively capture and demonstrate the family-friendly messages infused through each film. Alok Nath, who’s almost a genius at melodrama in my view, has to be the most valuable Barjatya MVP, but there’s also (among others) the charming Reema Lagoo, Anupam Kher (whom I love), Ajit Vachani, Mohnish Behl, and his favourite ‘hero’, Mr. Salman Khan.

Mr. Barjatya is a bit more adventurous when casting young females, and he sure goes for the gorgeous: Bhagyashree – she of the lamentably underachieved career (‘Maine Pyar Kiya’), Madhuri Dixit and Renuka Shahane (‘Hum Aapke Hain Koun…!’ – Renuka is another whom I wish had done more), Kareena Kapoor (‘Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon’), Amrita Rao (‘Vivah’), Karisma Kapoor, Tabu and Sonali Bendre (‘Hum Saath Saath Hain’). Barjatya picks beautiful people, and that makes for many beautiful picturisations – from Madhuri and Salman in ‘Joote Dedo’ to Shahid and Amrita in ‘Hamari Shaadi’, to Tabu, Sonali and Lolo in ‘Maiyya Yashoda’, to Bhagyashree and Salman in the Antakshari medley from ‘Maine Pyar Kiya’.

Speaking of great picturisations, India itself is, I believe, a character in Barjatya’s films – the rich culture, the family traditions, the colourful clothing, and the scenic locations spread across the country. All his films that I’ve seen include scenes shot in the beautiful, picturesque, often rural areas of India. That’s another thing I love.

Barjatya is also fond of animals, it seems – from Tuffy the dog in HAHK, who ends up playing a pivotal role in the film, to Handsome the dove in ‘Maine Pyar Kiya’. And he has a distinct affection for the the name 'Prem'!

One thing I do like about Barjatya’s characters is that they all have distinct and different personalities – some are feisty and forward, others shy and reserved; some are plain-speaking, others diplomatic geniuses; some are bubbling with life, others inwardly seething. They are definitely not the most nuanced and complex characters (although I think some of them end up having a lot more substance than you’d at first think), in fact they are usually very broadly-sketched, but I guess I can forgive that within the context of what he does.

The conflict: There is always one – whether created by human weakness (as in ‘Maine Pyar Kiya’) or by bad advice from creepy friends (as in ‘Hum Saath Saath Hain’) or by tragic accident (as in ‘Hum Aapke Hain Koun…!’ and ‘Vivah’). As with real life, the conflict usually comes straight out of nowhere. Unfortunately, sometimes the conflict also comes off a bit contrived and/or unrealistic… but oh well.

All-conquering love: Ah… the all-consuming power of love, be it romantic or filial, able to straighten out every difficulty, obliterate every complication, assuage every human yearning, make people become exactly who the people they love want them to be…. Except, this works only in the movies! It makes for some nice, cathartic emotional resolutions though. It would be nice, I suppose, if a nod was made to the fact that things are never so nicely tied up in real life – but then again, isn’t that why we’ve got the movies?

Now to the Barjatya films I’ve seen so far.

‘HUM AAPKE HAIN KOUN…!’: I adore this film. It’s my favourite of the films Sooraj Barjatya has directed and just has a very special place in my heart. I wrote just about everything I have to say about it here.

‘HUM SAATH SAATH HAIN’: I’m one of the few people that actually really liked this film. Yes, it’s very saccharine in many places, but I think it had its heart in the right place. I love the songs from it and enjoyed the performances as well as the issues it tackled. I’ve written about it here and here.

‘MAINE PYAR KIYA’: This is a very sweet, charming film about young love. It’s very ‘typical’ of Bollywood romance – rich boy, poor girl, opposition from parents… but it’s very nicely done. A young, likeable Salman Khan and the adorable Bhagyashree play Prem and Suman, two young people who despite their differing backgrounds, find friendship, and later love, when Suman comes to live at Prem’s house (Suman’s father and Prem’s father are old friends). These two made SUCH a lovely couple, and the film-makers captured some really memorable moments with them.

Unfortunately, as the bond between Prem and Suman develops, the bond between their parents is destroyed by Prem’s father’s pride and elitism. Suman’s father’s pride is awakened in turn, and Prem must then convince him (as the Biblical Jacob had to convince Laban) that he is deserving of his daughter. Throw in the attempts of the greedy, Westernised Ranjeet, Seema and Jeevan (played by Ajit Vachani, Pervin Dastur and Mohnish Behl) to snatch away all that Prem and his family hold dear, and our young hero faces quite a challenge. Will he succeed? Anyone who knows Bollywood knows the answer to this question, but it’s still fun to watch.

The best thing about this film for me was the performances – especially by Bhagyashree and Salman, although they’re nicely backed by the rest of the cast. I do so wish Bhagyashree had built on the success of this film – I think she could have had a great career. The songs in this film are also really sweet (‘Dil Deewana’ is pretty, ‘Tum Ladki Ho’ is fun, and ‘Kabutar ja’ is delightful – I enjoyed the rest as well). Some aspects of the script could I could have done without, such as the strangely intense relationship between our lovers’ fathers (especially on Alok Nath’s side) – very amusing, but weird. Also could have done without the big fight at the end. But all told, this is a really, really sweet and charming love story.

‘VIVAH’: Sooraj Barjatya’s most recent hit, a charming courtship story starring Shahid Kapoor and Amrita Rao helped Barjatya regain the credibility he had lost with HSSH and ‘Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon’ (which I haven’t seen). It also sparked criticism from many who felt that its themes were obsolete and its female protagonist annoyingly submissive. While I don’t agree with all of it (I particularly disagree with the notion that Poonam’s shyness automatically makes her a mindless coward), I do have problems with some aspects of this film’s storyline.

Shahid Kapoor plays the sweet, sincere Prem, a young man whose father (played by Anupam Kher) apparently gets up one day, and out of nowhere, decides it’s time for his son to get married. Prem has his doubts, but like a good, obedient son, he meekly goes with his father to meet the selected prospective wife, the lovely Poonam (played by Amrita Rao). After only one brief and one-sided conversation, during which Poonam seems to be afraid to look up at Prem's face, she agrees to marry Prem. There is no discussion about her goals, desires and aspirations until after the decision is made. And even then, the ‘discussion’ (such as it is), almost explicitly subjugates her own future accomplishments to the chief role she will soon have as supportive wife and dutiful daughter-in-law. And through it all, Poonam is quietly acquiescent - and somehow it's a little difficult to tell whether it's because she's doing what's expected of her or because she's doing what she wants.

After this beginning (which, you can probably tell, I found pretty problematic), the bulk of the film is taken up by Poonam and Prem’s sweet season of courtship. I have to say I was won over at this point by the warmth and sincerity of the characters and the way they slowly establish friendship and intimacy.

I thought Shahid and Amrita had great chemistry, and I liked their characters’ mutual respect and the fact that neither was ‘fronting’ - Prem and Poonam were keeping it real. Their relationship takes time to mature, and both of them have to make an effort - I liked that as well. And it was immensely gratifying to eventually discover that Poonam, despite initial appearances, does, wonder of wonders, actually have a pretty resilient backbone and something even more endearing – maturity and wisdom along with a sense of fun.

I really, really enjoyed ‘Vivah’ – I loved the songs, I loved the romance, I loved the way in which it all unfolded, and I just thought that it was really lovely and sweet. But there is no doubt that unfortunately, I also found some aspects of it unacceptable.

I think that this ambivalent note is a really good one on which to end this post. While I like the fact that Barjatya’s films put family values front and centre, while I love the music and the emotion, and the beautiful people and scenery, and the whole formula; there definitely are aspects to that formula that can be difficult.

But I think that I am probably not the only movie buff that comes to this point with a number of films (whether they be products of Bollywood, Hollywood, or Nollywood) and has learnt to deal with it – extracting, as I said earlier, what works for me and pushing aside what doesn’t (of course, there are times when there’s nothing to extract because none of it goes down well).

I am of course conscious that some will use messages in films to continue to legitimate and reiterate (even if only to themselves) ceretain inequitable viewpoints – and even worse, that some more impressionable viewers may possibly find their viewpoints shaped by what they see on their screens… and of course at this point the whole ‘life imitates art imitates life’ circular argument rears its ugly but compelling head.

Phew… I went a bit deeper with this than I planned… funny how I returned to the same point I tried to avoid at the beginning of this piece. Time to summarise. I remain a fan of Barjatya’s work as a director – and even if he never directs another film, I will always be glad he made the films he did (especially HAHK – I love it so much).

Suneel Darshan: Commercial but not so classy

A successful Bollywood director was once asked: So should stars do a different kind of cinema?

His response: Different is a wrong word. We should stop striving to make different films and concentrate on making classy, commercial films.

I think that quote pretty much sums up what Suneel Darshan, the subject of this post (and the director referred to above), tries to do as a film-maker. It’s a bit odd that he has a problem with ‘different’ films, though. I mean, it’s one thing to prefer to do things a certain way, and quite another to discourage doing things differently. But anyway, in past posts, I have praised the adventurousness and edginess of Ram Gopal Verma’s work, and the charm and simplicity of the films made by the late Hrishikesh Mukherjee. I decided to do a post on Darshan’s films when I realized that of the eight films he has directed so far (the most recent being ‘Shakalaka Boom Boom’ (SLBB)), I’ve seen five. Not bad. But I’ll admit that I haven’t consciously sought them out.

Interestingly, Suneel is not the only filmmaker in his family. His brother Dharmesh has directed successful films like ‘Dhadkan’ and ‘Raja Hindustani’. Also, his son is about to enter the industry as an actor – I wonder if Suneel and his kid will be able to pull off a Roshan-type debut successfully.

When I think of the Suneel Darshan movies I’ve seen, I would definitely say they are ‘commercial’ – they are very formulaic, deliberately aimed at achieving box-office success by pushing the buttons of the target cinema-going audience. I’m no snob, and I know that filmmakers need to eat, so I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. However, I do think there’s a problem when filmmakers, in the quest for commercial success, start to insult the intelligence of their audience. I think cinema-goers are a lot smarter than some directors give them credit for – and Darshan, unfortunately, seems to be one of those directors.

In the interview referred to above, Darshan talks about making ‘classy’ commercial movies. I’m not sure he’s not achieved a ‘classy’ touch to his movies – commercial they are, but classy? When I think of ‘class’; I think of elegance, understatement, sophistication, style, grace and taste. These are not words that truly describe the Darshan movies I’ve seen. The films are not irredeemable, they do have certain things to recommend them, but classy? Hmm… the jury’s still out on that one. Having said that, though, he can make an entertaining (if slightly shallow) type of film when he tries.

There are some common denominators to the Darshan films I’ve seen – catchy, trendy music; stereotypical characters, gloss (think snazzy clothes and loads of make-up), some skin and sexiness, some good drama, lots and lots of heightened emotion, romance, a bit of gore, cheesiness galore, and love scenes that go a little further than most Bollywood films (see the Akshay/Karisma scenes in ‘Mere Jeevan Sathi’ and ‘Ek Rishtaa’).

Speaking of Akshay Kumar and Karisma Kapoor; like every other filmmaker, Darshan has his usual suspects. He seems to love Akshay very much (of the 5 Darshan movies I’ve seen so far, Akki shows up in 4), Lolo, Bobby Deol and (in smaller doses) Juhi Chawla and Mohnish Behl. Darshan seems to have shifted his focus from Akshay to Bobby a bit – he gave Bobby a role previously reserved for Akshay (‘Barsaat’, which would probably have fared much better with Akshay in the lead role – not because Akki is better than Bobby, but because he’s much cheesier), and also gave him a lead role in SLBB. Darshan has said in an interview (can't find it right now) that he thinks Bobby is best actor in the Deol family (needless to say, I disagree).

Anyway, on to the Darshan movies I’ve seen (in the order in which I viewed them):

‘Ek Rishtaa – The Bond of Love’: I’ve blogged about this movie before here… I liked this film, and it’s the Darshan movie I’ve liked the most. Its music was quite sweet, I thought most of the songs were very good. The story was fine, until about three-quarters of the film, when it just seemed to get out-of-control – it felt like the writer was grasping at straws, trying to wrap it all up in a hurry. On balance, though, the story was not bad at all.

The star cast, led by Amitabh Bachchan and Rakhee, worked together quite effectively. I liked the way Akshay and Amitabh interpreted the father/son relationship of their characters. Mohnish Behl and Juhi Chawla did quite well too.

Karisma (playing Nisha) and Akshay (playing Ajay) were a cute couple and had nice chemistry together (I love their ‘Mohabbat Ne’ number), but the biggest problem I had with the film revolved around these characters. The story was quite sexist in the way Nisha’s place in Ajay’s family was treated. Nisha made her share of mistakes and apologized for them – but Ajay treated her pretty badly as well, and never apologized or even admitted to being wrong. Their story was also quite shoddily resolved, which was pretty annoying – after spending a lot of time on how the couple got together and the crisis they faced, the resolution was pretty much thrown away. In fact the entire ending was unsatisfactory – the closing scene is particularly cheesy, unrealistic and irritating, and detracts from the overall standard of the film.

Having said all that, I liked ‘Ek Rishtaa’.

‘Jaanwar’: Oh, ‘Jaanwar’. I said a bit about it here. It’s impossible to take this film seriously, really. But its heart is in the right place. The film is one big stereotype, packed to the gills with many smaller stereotypes that don’t always work well together. But, its heart is in the right place. ‘Jaanwar’ opens with a vicious car-chase, making it clear that this is one of the films that won Akshay his ‘action hero’ stars when he was younger. Then we see that Akshay’s character (‘Badshah’) has been trapped in a life of crime since childhood, by an evil ‘Fagin’ (from Dickens’ ‘Oliver Twist’) type. Of course, this is a respected Bollywood plot device – I recently saw it brilliantly deployed by Raj Kapoor in ‘Awaara’ in the ’50s.

Before long, we come to a scene with Karisma Kapoor (playing ‘Sapna’) dancing for money. She too is oppressed, by a mean uncle who’s greedy enough to sell her body to the neighbourhood lecher. Naturally, Badshah comes to her rescue just in time – but oops, I forgot to mention that before that, she had saved his life and nursed him very prettily, so he’s kinda returning the favour. Of course, they fall in love… but things don’t go smoothly for their relationship...

To cut a long story short, Badshah, so sadly led into crime in his youth, serendipitously gets the opportunity to bring up an adorable little kid on the straight and narrow – and of course, he abandons crime in order to do so. Unfortunately, the kid actually belongs to a young couple (played by Mohnish Behl and Shilpa Shetty), who, when they find him, are desperate to get him back. Meanwhile, the Fagin-type that was abandoned by Badshah re-discovers him and wants his pound of flesh. Sapna manages to return to the story as well. CRISIS! And resolution – everyone ends up happy somehow (except for the bad guys, of course). And did I mention that Johnny Lever is in there for laughs? Ha ha.

Yup, that’s the kind of film ‘Jaanwar’ is – it has a little bit of every major Bollywood stereotype out there in its mix, and it doesn’t always work, but you just can’t bring yourself to dislike it. It’s really cheesy, but it’s also quite entertaining. And the earnestness of the actors makes it work, somehow. There are some cute moments, some amusing ones that are actually meant to be serious (the ‘comic’ moments are actually not funny at all – Lever is wasted in this one), and it’s so funny to see Akshay sporting some luscious long brown tresses (they made him look sooo funny), wielding a hammer, and shouting angrily and passionately at every opportunity (one thing I will say for Akshay: he is game for everything, no matter how mad or daft – a bit like Salman actually – and the ridiculous, silly part of me totally respects that). In short, it’s all harmless good fun.

‘Dosti: Friends Forever’: I blogged about ‘Dosti’ here… the leads were not bad but the details were pretty appalling. I still can’t get over the fact that the kids aged 20 years but the world stayed exactly the same. And the female roles were really bland and uninteresting – I can almost conclude that Darshan doesn’t have much use for women in his films – he seems to use them a bit like fashion accessories – a tear from a neatly-kajal-ed eye here, a flash of leg there, a little conflict over a very undeserving man there.

‘Barsaat’: I’ve also blogged about this one before – here. Bobby Deol was miscast, but Bipasha Basu was even more so. The film just doesn’t work.

Humans or dolls? You decide.

‘Mere Jeevan Sathi’: My most recent expedition into Darshan’s world, and one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a while. Released last year, MJS is the story of a woman (played by Karisma), who is obsessed with an up-and-coming singer (played by Akshay Kumar: a very cringeworthy performance, in a role that’s too young for him). Unfortunately for the obsessed lover, our singing hero is already in a serious relationship with his high school sweetheart (played by Amisha Patel). This, naturally, does not stop him from making a mistake that sorta messes up his life for a while.

These poses by Akshay in 'Mere Jeevan Sathi' still leave me absolutely gob-smacked.

What can I say about this film? It’s really trashy and the story is just dumb and annoying – from beginning to end. The performances are nothing to write home about – Akki, in particular, makes you cringe – he is just so OTT and cheesy. Lolo and Amisha are given the most horrendous, hackneyed lines ever. Lolo is not bad in some bits, but she totally overdoes the ‘femme fatale’ thing and becomes a sort of caricature. Amisha is way too sweet – any sweeter and she’d turn into a big ol’ bag of sugar. And the Akshay/Karisma love scene I mentioned earlier in this post probably was striving for tasteful sensuality, but it’s really just trashy and a bit eeuw.

There is so much to dislike in MJS, so many scenes and moments that make you cringe, so much senselessness in the plot… I can’t even begin to tell it. You do get a sense for what they were trying to do – it’s an attempt to have ‘grey’ characters – Karisma’s crazed character is portrayed quite sympathetically… but I’m sorry, I just think it’s all a load of rubbish – not much thought seems to have been put into it. So much is just pointless and/or extremely annoying (I wouldn’t mind the former as much – this is Bollywood, right? – if there weren’t so much of the latter).

They put so much eye make-up on Amisha for this movie, that sometimes you just can't see the whites of her eyes. Frightening.

There’s an older MJS, released in 1972 and starring Rajesh Khanna and Tanuja, that’s quite an interesting movie – some extremely camp and OTT grooviness, a storyline that’s a bit bizarre (different from the new one, although naturally there’s a love triangle – or two – in there as well – sigh), some great RD Burman music, and a really fun and silly lead role that only Khanna could play with such skewed relish. It’s a fun and sometimes even thought-provoking memento of the time in which it was made.

I wish I could say something complimentary about Darshan’s MJS, but I can’t – I could say Amisha and Karisma look great, but that would be praising Darshan’s apparent penchant for showing off the beauty of his female stars and just not giving them much (or much that’s meaningful or sensible) to do. I could say the songs are not that bad, but then I didn’t really like them either. So I’ll just say this is an awful film. A pity to end this piece on a downer, but there you go. I think – no, I know, that Darshan can do better than this mediocre film – what I’ve heard about SLBB isn’t promising, but hopefully he’ll do better next time. There's always next time.

You should know there's something amiss when the guest at your engagement ceremoy has wind blowing in her hair and you don't.

And just because it's fun, here are a couple of funny subtitles from MJS:

1. 'What do you take me for...? A prostitute? A blood whore?' This subtitle is less funny than disturbing, actually.

2. 'I'm free! Free! Free from my dreams!' This one's kind of weird 'cos Akshay actually says this in English, not Hindi, so there is no real need for subtitles. Except he says 'free from your dreams'. The funniest thing about it is the grandiose arm movements he makes, though.

And, finally, a very classy goodbye from Akshay: