OF SARKAR, SARKAR RAJ... AND BABA IBADAN

After writing this, I realised that it's a bit of a downer... not very auspicious considering that I haven't posted anything in months... but it's what's on my mind so I guess it has to be said.... Hopefully the next post will be all nice and light and cheerful....

Interesting how one can find parallels in the strangest places... when I heard that 'Sarkar Raj' was coming to a cinema near me, I knew I wanted to see it. I've been a bit starved of good Bollywood fare lately, and the prospect of three Bachchans doing some 'serious' acting in a Ram Gopal Verma thriller sounded pretty good to me. Because I am slightly anal about doing things 'sequentially', I of course had to watch 'Sarkar' (Ram Gopal Verma's 2005 film) first... and I really enjoyed it. I have talked about the fact that I like Ram Gopal Verma's work before on this blog, and for me 'Sarkar' was a really striking and stylish (typical RGV) piece of storytelling, with really solid performances.

Seeing 'Sarkar Raj' at the cinema was a lot of fun - I went with a bunch of colleagues from work, some of whom are not Bollywood fans and therefore came a bit reluctantly... everyone enjoyed the movie (phew!), and Abhishek Bachchan even gained a new fan! We got all wrapped up in the suspense and drama and generally had a good time together. I thought that the performances were very strong and the story was compelling and moved at a good pace.

The 3 Bachchans all did extremely well, I thought (I loved Amit-ji's scenes with Abhishek, they were really poignant and beautifully-acted in my opinion, and I thought Ash held her own as well), and the rest of the cast supported them well also. I liked how the film dealt with the complexities of family relationships and the emotions that govern them, picking up pretty well from where the first film left off. I also liked how the film delved even deeper into the motivations of the characters in their seemingly endless quest for power - I thought it was really well done.

My quibble (and it was a small one) was with the cardboard-cutout-ness of the villains - I found them a bit too caricatured, and that took away something from the rawness of the film, I thought. Caricature villains are alright in an OTT masala flick, but in a dark, edgy RGV film, I think they could've done with just a little toning down. Also, as is quite typical with RGV, I think that a couple of times he went a lil' overboard with the 'stylisation' of some scenes (but then, that very adventurousness, even when it goes overboard, is really one of things I quite like about RGV). Anyway, I thought 'Sarkar Raj' was a great watch and I'm actually quite looking forward to watching it again when it's released on DVD.

I am not going to say much more about either 'Sarkar' or 'Sarkar Raj'... I think that RGV's films tend to be the love-it-or-hate-it kind - if you have a big problem with onscreen violence or you find films about political intrigues, dhokhas and divided loyalties boring, then you probably won't enjoy either film - but if you fancy grappling with the difficult issues that these gritty, dark films tackle, then you'll probably enjoy them (well, perhaps 'enjoy' is the wrong word - let's say you'll probably find them interesting).

What I actually want to talk about is the parallels between certain aspects of the Sarkar films, and the life and times of a recently deceased national figure here in Nigeria. Alhaji Lamidi Adedibu recently passed away at the age of 80. Adedibu, known as 'the strongman of Ibadan politics' was a very controversial figure in Nigerian politics.

To some people (particularly the members of his party), Adedibu was a statesman, a philanthropist and a man of the people who helped to unify the Yoruba-speaking Western part of the country. Much is made by these advocates of the fact that Adedibu fed many inhabitants of the city of Ibadan daily meals for a number of years, completely free of charge. To many others, however, he was a troublemaker who actually worked to divide the region, by using an army of weapon-wielding goons to wreak violence, terror and havoc upon any members of the community who dared to disagree with his political views. Those free daily meals at Adedibu's mansion, some say, were not an act of charity - rather they were just a part of the 'incentives' used by Adedibu to 'mobilise' his band of thugs.

One thing is for sure, though, Adedibu was a political 'godfather', and he himself admitted boldly that he used his considerable political might to place his anointed godsons in positions of power. There is no doubt that Adedibu exercised a huge amount of influence in Oyo State, where he lived and (some say) reigned. For a man with no governmental position or constitutional power, it boggles the mind that he was (in my opinion) able to basically hound a state governor out of power and then replace him with his very own puppet....

At the beginning of 'Sarkar', there's a quote that says something about a power rising when things fall apart. I think that speaks just as eloquently to the real-life Adedibu situation in Oyo State as it does to the movie-world Maharashtra of RGV's movies, where the fictional Sarkar, the gunda-leader with no respect for the rule of law, holds sway. And I think it's sad... very sad.

'DEEWAAR' (1975)

'Deewaar'… 'Deewaar'… I was really intrigued by a couple of mentions of this film. Sanket mentioned that it was the first and only Bollywood film to show a couple smoking cigarettes in bed after sex. Abhishek Bachchan, on 'Koffee with Karan', was asked to rank five of his father's movies – 'Agneepath', 'Deewaar', 'Sholay', 'Zanjeer', and 'Baghban'. That was exactly how he ranked them – with 'Deewaar' taking a princely second place over 'Sholay' and 'Zanjeer', both of which I have seen and loved. So I knew I had to see 'Deewaar', and now I have.

Every now and then a film comes along that just satisfies you in every way. You aren't left wishing the story had been more ____, or the dialogues had been more ____, or the performances had been more____, or the music had been more____ or whatever…. You are just satisfied in every way, because the movie is just… all that and more. 'Deewaar' is one such movie – and the best thing is that, for all the brilliance of its crafting (Yash Chopra directs brilliantly, Salim-Javed's masterful writing is all things beautiful – sheer perfection in every scene, RD Burman's music is excellent, the action scenes are well-staged, there is some lovely cinematography with some truly iconic images, even the costume design and make-up rocks…), it also has a great deal of heart.

Ravi (played by Shashi Kapoor) and Vijay (played by Amitabh Bachchan) are brothers, but each has a very different outlook on life. Ravi has a wholesome, unassuming, unambitious, and sincere desire to seek fulfilment by walking the straight and narrow. He is non-confrontational, good-natured, almost naïve – very sweet, really. Even when, in the course of his search for employment, he is confronted with inequality and injustice, he does not fully engage with it – he deals with it by manufacturing a string of similes about the world being like a chest of drawers, a cupboard, a third class train. When he has the opportunity to deprive another young man of a job opportunity, his conscience will not allow him to – like every other eager young man he wants to succeed, but he is not desperate enough to hurt someone else in order to succeed... so he steps back.

When Ravi eventually finds himself (and not on purpose, as it is a goal he would never have considered himself worthy of) in the police force and under oath to fight injustice, he is crushed to discover that the injustice is not 'out there', to be expressed in poetic metaphors and looked upon philosophically. Nahin, injustice and inequality is nearer and dearer to him than he could have ever imagined. In boldly and painfully confronting and grappling with this injustice, Ravi loses one of the most important relationships in his life. At great cost, he discovers a steeliness and resolve he never knew he had – and becomes a man.

Vijay, on the other hand, is relentless and unscrupulous in his pursuit of a better life. One extremely cruel childhood encounter has scarred him for life – emotionally, as well as physically. And along with this terrible event, abandoned by their father, Vijay and his brother (with their mother having to play the role of father as well as mother) have had to endure deprivation and degradation. So now the adult Vijay is haunted and hurting – and angry…. He is angry at many people – at his father, at the men who made an offensive inscription on his arm, at society and 'the system' for kicking the three of them when they were down, at God for allowing all this to happen despite his mother's devotion to Him… but most of all Vijay is angry at himself.


He's angry at himself for being a victim, for seeing his mother become a victim, for feeling helpless and unable to make up for all the suffering.

So when he sees the opportunity to do so in adulthood, he accepts the risks involved and grabs at it with both hands… unconcerned about the risk to his life, unconcerned about the censure of society. He has only two overwhelming motivations – first, to make his mother happy by endowing upon her all the comforts she has been denied (and to take care of his brother too); and second, to prove that he is not a helpless victim but a powerful man.


Ravi and Vijay are the sons of a former trade union leader, a man who fearlessly stood up for justice until the price of his uprightness became too great for him to bear. In a way, both Ravi and Vijay are very much their father's sons… fearless, courageous, single-minded and determined (although for Vijay, that courage is almost instinctive, while Ravi has to discover it). Both have also inherited their father's substantial leadership qualities – Vijay's abilities in this regard shine through early in the film while he is working as a dockhand – it gives you a glimpse of how effective he could have been had he chosen to harness that boldness and ability to inspire in a more positive way.

The difference between father and sons, however, is that, unlike their father (and in Vijay's case at least, in a conscious effort not to tread their father's path) both brothers stubbornly refuse to back down from their fight for justice… and each brother's concept of 'justice' is very different. For Ravi, justice is firmly on the side of the good – it's about putting the bad guys behind bars, and without fear or favour. For Vijay, it's about taking what he can as quickly as he can, by any means necessary, from an intrinsically and endemically unjust system; and all in a futile attempt to numb the pain, to destroy the power of the past. It's about taking complete advantage of his luck until it runs out. So Ravi and Vijay, hitherto loving and very close brothers (with Vijay doting on Ravi, and Ravi adoring his bhaiyya), end up firmly on different and opposite sides of the same wall – hence the film's title.

In a way, the wall also represents Maa (played to perfection by Nirupa Roy), who is caught between these brothers. Deeply loved and respected, Maa has sacrificed everything for her sons and loves them both with all her heart… but like all mothers (although they will usually deny this); she has a soft spot in her heart for one of them. In a scenario that reminded me of Radha and Birju in 'Mother India', Maa shares a very deep and special bond with her restless, defiant firstborn son Vijay. Part of the reason for this could be that, as the older son, Vijay has consciously witnessed and shared in more of Maa's suffering, while they have both sought (and fought) to protect Ravi from becoming too keenly aware of the full extent of their lack. (In fact, Vijay took up child labour so that Ravi could get an education). More importantly though, I think part of the reason for this bond is that Maa sees beyond Vijay's tough and abrasive exterior to the wounded, tender, sensitive heart within. In a way, she's the only one who fully 'gets' him.

The only one, that is, until the sassy Anita (played very capably and memorably by Parveen Babi) shows up.

Vijay and Anita discover that they are kindred spirits, and open up to each other like they have to no-one else. I really liked the depiction of this relationship, because, as Carla notes, there was a realness, a lack of bravado… an almost painful honesty to the equation between Anita and Vijay.

As the story progresses, the wall between the brothers becomes an increasing source of frustration, conflict, even alienation. Maa is in a heartbreaking position. Like Radha in 'Mother India', she ultimately must deny Vijay and hurt him, in order to be true to herself (and to Ravi). It hurts to see Vijay become the cornered, wounded animal, and to see his own brother have to play the role of hunter…

…but the wonderful thing about it is that it all makes perfect sense. In the end, Ravi once again receives a boost from his bhaiyya as he moves up in the world, but not in a way anyone could have expected or hoped for.

The inexorable denouement is perfectly symmetrical with the rest of the story, flowing directly from it – and the filmmakers, as Sanket notes, never allow you to look away from it, there are no cop-outs. Commendably, they commit to showing us what the characters really go through, their dilemma, their pain, warts and all. (Not really what I would associate with Yash Chopra – this is not a pretty, shiny, sentimental film; although it definitely is elegant, stylish and beautifully shot, which I would associate with Yash Chopra). I certainly did not expect to see realistic, frank scenes like these in a Yash-ji film:

The overall effect of the film is raw, gritty and hard-hitting, slamming the viewer with an almost brutal impact, and providing lots of food for thought. Even the sunny, light-hearted parts all lead somewhere – towards the inescapable conclusion of this very human, very real tale. For example, I love these adorable, light-hearted and carefree scenes between Ravi and his girlfriend Vira (played by the ultra-cute Neetu Singh, I love how Ravi told Maa she was his 'class fellow' – simply adorable - and just look at each of their expressions and how they tell a complete story)…

Random thought: I love how Ravi and Vira's names mirror each other…

But these sweet moments aren't diversions, they are the last calm and innocent moments just before Ravi's peaceful world is turned upside down…

I love how 'Deewaar' made me think about so many fascinating issues – the complexities of mother/son relationships, the relational dynamic between siblings, the way that choices made in each echelon of society eventually trickle down (or surge up) to affect other strata… 'Deewaar' is just a really good film, everything about it just works.

But now to erm... other matters… how hot is Mr. Bachchan in this film? He totally sizzles. This is definitely one of the best Amitabh Bachchan performances I've seen so far, it's intense, raw, compelling, and has tremendous depth; so I'll get that said right now and get back to how hot he was in this film. That thick, long-ish hair, those tortured eyes, those full lips, those lanky limbs… all variously accessorised with cigarettes/bidis, fab sunglasses, nice suits… even a rope. All hella hot.

Erm... no comment on this one

The only accessory that didn't quite work (for angry-and-hot-young-man purposes) was the badge… that was kinda corny…

One big discovery for me with 'Deewaar' is that I have been watching the wrong Shashi Kapoor films. Honestly, I have never 'gotten' the whole Shashi thing… I've never really understood why people think he's so handsome/beautiful, so cool, such a great actor… I mean, until 'Deewaar' I was ready to admit that there's a pretty-ish face there (and some lovely, long-lashed brown eyes – always gotta love that); but looks-wise or acting-wise (aside from his beautiful face and performance as a child in 'Awaara'), I had not seen anything to make me really love Shashi…

I had seen him opposite the Big B in 'Do Aur Do Paanch', but I thought Amit-Ji totally outdid him in that film. I thought Shashi's character came across as a bit of a loser and a wuss, and I really didn’t like his miserable 'do not sleep, little children' song in the film. My sister who watched 'Do Aur Do Paanch' felt the same – since then she's refused to watch anything else with Shashi in it. I also caught Shashi in Raj Kapoor's 'Satyam Shivam Sundaram', in which he plays an engineer who is obsessed with beauty and mistreats his wife as a result… in this film Shashi was playing a silly jerk, so it was really no wonder that I didn’t think he was all that. I actually really liked Shashi's performance (again, opposite Big B) in 'Trishul', but he didn’t really 'stay with me' after the film.

But 'Deewaar'… now this is a little something to make me like Shashi a little (ok, so I didn't just like him a little in 'Deewaar', I absolutely loved him, but it's slightly galling to have to admit it now...), and it definitely makes me want some more Shashi. His performance is simply wonderful, his character is nuanced and beautifully drawn, you can really trace his arc and journey in the movie… and he ain't looking half bad doing it either…

MANI RATNAM’S ‘GURU’

Warning: This is a really, really long post, and I don't even have any pictures (ok, I do now... thanks to the guys at chakpak.com and their nifty widgets!) to make it more entertaining. It feels like I've written a diary entry - one of those posts you do for your own benefit as the blogger - I'm just posting this so I can remind myself of these thoughts and why I think this way today... to give myself a point of reference in case my thinking changes tomorrow.




I saw ‘Guru’ a while ago and loved it. I thought it was really well-executed, and the music by A. R. Rahman was a treat. I will get my biggest criticism out of the way right now – the subtitles were not great – too minimalist. I’m sure I would have enjoyed the movie a lot more with better subtitles, but I did enjoy it very much regardless.

I think that comments I’ve made on other blogs actually pretty much sum up how this film made me feel, and the issues it raised in my mind. But before I get to those, here’s what I thought about:

The Story:
I think this is the most interesting thing about this film – interesting because there is so much conflict and turmoil (confusion is actually the right word) within the story itself. So much room for ‘whys’. Gurukant, the main character, is a boy from lowly beginnings, but with lofty dreams. After a brief sojourn abroad, he returns to India with fresh ideas and enthusiasm. He takes every opportunity he can find to get to the top, and once he gets there, he takes every opportunity he can find to ensure that he stays there.

At a point, things start to come crashing down for Gurukant – but I’ll stop here so as not to completely reveal the story to anyone who hasn’t seen it yet. What I will say is that although there is a cosmetic ‘resolution’ to the story, it isn’t really resolved – in that the relationships and characters at the heart of the film never get that movie ‘moment’ that brings us to a catharsis and helps us come to terms with it all. This, more than anything, is what I like about ‘Guru’ – the fact that it keeps me pondering and wondering. The tangled threads never fully unravel, and I think this is a personal predilection of Ratnam – I felt some of the same after watching ‘Dil Se’ (which I'll admit I didn't like as much as 'Guru' - except for 'Chaiyya Chaiyya').

The Acting:
Top-notch. Abhishek Bachchan is really growing as an actor, and his performance in this movie proves it. He goes from earnest wide-eyed youngster to still-earnest but now rather hard-nosed middle-aged powerful industrialist – and he does it smoothly. He is able to communicate the simultaneous complexity and simplicity of the character really well, without bashing me over the head with it, and he resists the urge to grandstand and be all ‘I’m making an epic which spans over years’-ish. Beautiful performance.

I told my friend that this was the first film I’d loved Aishwarya Rai in (as opposed to just thinking ‘she’s ok’), and I meant it. Her dances are beautiful as always, but there was depth to her portrayal of Guru’s loyal (sometimes too loyal, I thought, but loved the character anyway) wife. From her stubbornness and desire for independence at the start of the film to her courageous and dignified support for Guru by the end, she expressed so much emotion in a very ‘real’ way – I loved her performance. And the chemistry between her and Abhi was beautiful – so warm and sweet. I felt like I was watching two friends who were truly comfortable with each other and adored each other – they portrayed the marriage relationship beautifully. I love the scene where they’re lying together when they visit their old house.

Mithun Chakraborty, as anyone who’s seen his older work (albeit more known for its OTT ‘fabulousness’ than anything else) knows, is a good actor – and he certainly does not disappoint here. His depiction of the publisher is tough but vulnerable, angst-y and frustrated yet somehow comforting – if that makes any sense. He depicts the internal and social conflict of his character very well. Vidya Balan is excellent as Mithun’s niece – but then I’ve always loved her work so I expected no less. Her character is conflicted – but she makes her choices and moves on with grace but also with realism – Vidya communicated this very well, I thought, without evoking pity. And R. Madhavan does a really good job of portraying his ambitious, bold, ruthlessly clever yet silently emotional character. And I loved the Madhavan/Vidya kiss in the rain.

The music: I loved it. Nothing more to say there. I didn’t care too much for the celebratory ‘bhang’ song after the birth of the twins, but otherwise I loved it.

The cinematography, directing, editing, etc: All the technical stuff was on point, I thought, although I’m not well-versed in the finer arts of filmmaking. I just thought it was all beautifully shot – the colours, the lighting, everything. I also loved the costuming and the fact that they stuck to the time period they were trying to portray. I LOVED Ash’s saris in the first half of the film, and the subtlety of her make-up. She looked great (but then, she’s Ash).

So that’s what I thought of all that. But as to what this movie did for me on a personal level, here’s part of the comment I posted at Beth’s blog – it sums it up for me…

My take on 'Guru': ... Personally, I liked the 'muddiness' (as Carla put it) and conflicted-ness of the message. I'm not a big fan of 'message' movies - not saying that a filmmaker shouldn't have an idea (s)he is trying to put across, just that I like to be given some leeway to re-interpet that idea in various ways. I liked that I felt it wasn't trying to make me see Gurubhai as a saint or a sinner (even though the portrayal was largely sympathetic, there was definitely room to refute that). I didn't think there was a strict hero/villain set-up between Abhi's character and Mithun and Madhavan's characters. I liked that I felt there was 'space' for me to make up my mind. I liked that there were lots of unanswered questions left for me to think about by the end.

And for me personally as a citizen of another developing country struggling with corruption and questions of identity, public welfare, independence and orientation, I guess I could relate a lot more to some of the issues. On that level, I was inspired by the movie.

Gurukant, the way I ‘see’ him, is neither hero nor villain – although in some ways he’s both. He is simply a man – ‘Gurubhai’. He is everyman, the man who keeps going despite and against all odds. He has not lost touch with his roots, for in a way he never left them – he clings to them because he believes they have made him what he is. His doggedness reminds me of the woman who walked long distances everyday to my uni to sell perhaps N1,000’s worth (less than 9 US dollars' worth) of ofe akwu and rice everyday (after spending perhaps N800 to prepare and transport it) – she just kept going, rain or shine, transport fares hikes or not, sick children or not. She’ll never win an award for it, but that’s sheer courage under fire.

Gurubhai’s greatest asset is not his virtue, his loyalty, or even his business acumen – it’s, as he says at the end – his dogged-yet-scrappy, no-matter-what courage and determination. As most great assets are, those same things are also his greatest weaknesses – the things that cause him to break the law shamelessly (‘the end justifies the means’ becomes his credo) to be dishonest, and to ultimately hurt himself and the ones he loves. Many of his actions and practices are very wrong and highly condemnable, but that’s why he’s an everyman – he’s flawed.

Gurubhai does what he feels he has to do in a world in which he’s had to struggle for every last thing, a world in which he has not been properly mentored and guided but has had to basically mentor himself, a world in which his value system seemed to have never fully formed when he was still young (very important), a world in which he’s totally surrounded by rot and yes-men (sycophancy is a terrible thing). It would be nice to think that, despite all that, he’d play strictly by the rules on his own initiative (I DEFINITELY believe that I would), but is it truly realistic? Experience has shown us that human nature tends to go the other way. Inexcusable his actions definitely are, but it's certainly interesting to try and see what may have produced them.
Here’s a comment I posted at T-Hype’s blog (on a completely unrelated subject):

“'…'the elite typically rule'. I am afraid (very very afraid) that you are right... Which makes me sad. So I am off to eat something very very fattening, after which I shall go to sleep hugging my pillow tight for comfort...”

I didn’t post that out of envy for the elite (I don’t aspire to be one of their number, the appeal of being born 'with a silver spoon in your mouth' is something I’ve never fully understood – why is it a thing of pride to be born into a rich and powerful family? What did you actually do to achieve that?). For me, the issue is that a country of the poor and hungry ruled by the un‘tainted’ shiny, happy, privileged and foreign-educated elite bothers me because there is then a fundamental disconnect between the ruler and the people. They speak different languages. Please don't get it twisted - I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being privilege and foreign-educated, and I don't believe in glamouring poverty - all I'm saying is that the privileged, to lead the poor, must 'get' the plight of the poor.

The ruler cannot feel the pinch until he wears the shoes – he cannot seek the welfare of the people until he comprehends it – either by having undergone it or by seeking actively to 'uncover' it and grasp it – no matter what it takes. And that’s no easy task. That’s what makes men like Gandhi and Mandela so inspirational, and why they will always hold the hearts of the common man. I don’t believe in love without sacrifice – and a person who has never had to sacrifice anything will find it hard (not saying it’s impossible, just hard) to grasp the struggle of another, and to inspire that other (and inspiration is crucial for effective leadership in a system characterised by disillusionment, oppression and disappointment). Now I realise that’s not always true – in the words of a Mexican ‘telenovela’, the rich also cry; and human empathy does exist and is there for the 'taking'… but I think it’s largely true.

For me, Ratnam is not saying that the end justifies the means, he’s simply pointing to the ‘Guru’ in the common man – it is praiseworthy, but it’s also not without its price. It’s like a raw material that must be shaped and honed for it to work the right way – otherwise it just ‘does too much’ and goes all over the place (if you know what I mean). Guided and encouraged properly, it can be great – it can procreate, it can breed prosperity and it can help others – but otherwise it can be lethal – just as deadly as the thing it’s trying to escape from – and so the hunted becomes the hunter.

In my country, there are so many uneducated self-made millionaires who, instead of using their potential and wealth to inspire and encourage the younger generation; have used it to acquire political clout so that they can become ‘godfathers’ who control governmental affairs, and to turn young men into political thugs and touts. We may deride these men and call them ‘illiterate thugs’, but we also can’t deny their accomplishments – which may (perhaps) have been legitimately acquired but are now being illegitimately deployed. This in so many ways is the story of my country and its (acknowledged and unacknowledged) leadership – the limitless potential is and has always been there – but it’s been and is still being utilised in an insensitive, misdirected, selfish and therefore completely counter-productive way.

I liked Guru’s ‘commonness’ and his struggle because I identify with it – God has blessed me in so many ways, particularly with parents who sacrificed a lot in order to give me the best foundation they could afford; but I’ve also had to work and struggle for so much – usually with people telling me ‘you can’t do it – it simply can’t be done’. That in itself is a gift from God – that He’s blessed the work of my hands. I’ll always remember the struggle though (which was made harder by the fact that I did it without compromising my values) and for that reason I’ll never take my accomplishments (humble as they may be today) for granted or let them be taken from me without a fight. Instead I want to use them for good, to share them and help others attain them – and that, right there, is what I took away as the central message of this film.

We in the developing world, having taken back our countries (at great cost to those who fought for it) from the colonialists, must not continue to enslave ourselves with government policies that are simply unfriendly to the masses. We’ve come too far too turn back now – we’ve worked too hard to lose it all to our own greed and selfishness. This is why our leaders need to stop robbing us of our hard-earned wealth the way the British did. It’s why we must stop allowing corruption to set us back decades – simply because we lack the self-confidence, the understanding, the awareness, and most of all the selflessness, to just be honest and to do things right. It’s why we must find the courage to once again be good to ourselves, to embrace the common man, to just struggle and scrap it out TOGETHER – not against one another. And this is why ‘Guru’ inspired me.

CRUSHING ON COUPLES...

I sort of made a resolution to be more serious on this blog this year – and to do fewer silly posts about crushes and the like… but as this, my very first post of the year, is undoubtedly very silly, it’s pretty obvious that the resolution has been chucked out the window (resolutions are made to be broken anyway, right?). The thing is, being silly is so much fun that I just can’t resist it…

When I have a crush on a particular guy I see onscreen, there are certain things I do. It’s really very funny, I entertain myself all the time. I smile goofily at him on the screen, I touch my heart when he makes it beat a little faster, I fan myself with my hand when I feel the ‘temperature rising’, I go ‘awww’ when he does something particularly cute, I blush (or do whatever the equivalent of blushing is for black people) when he does something really sweet and romantic, and I talk to him… like ‘You’re so cute!’ (for when he looks just mega hot), ‘I want to marry you!’ (for certain rare and random things), ‘Go on, just do it!’ (for when he’s stalling, like when he wants to tell a girl he loves her but can’t quite summon up the courage) and ‘That’s my guy!’ (for when he kicks some butt in a very awesomely cool way). Sometimes (when he gets like, unbearably cute or corny), I have to cover my eyes for a second because I just can’t bear to look. I also usually make up a silly and razz name for the fictional character, like ‘Jackostic’ or 'Jackoski' if his name is ‘Jack’ (one of my current TV crushes is named Jack, actually). And of course there are the random moans and gasps of sheer crush-induced delight. I know, I sound like a total nutcase, but I should make it clear that I only do these things when I am either watching alone (which is pretty much all the time) or with someone of similar sensibilities.

I recently discovered that many of the above silly things I do when I have a crush on a guy I’m watching on TV or in a movie; I also do when I am watching certain couples. Because they are just sooo cute. They just make me fall in love with them. I just absolutely adore them… and so I’ve realised that not only do I have crushes on guys, I also have crushes on couples. (Is that bizarre?) And so I’ve given myself an assignment – to do a post on my three most crushed-on couples in the following five categories: Nollywood, Hollywood, Nigerian TV, Other TV and (of course), Bollywood. It should be a lot of fun. I was going to wait till Valentine’s Day, but hey, it shouldn’t be hard to come up with something romantic to write about on Feb. 14 – this IS a Bollywood blog after all –you can’t escape romance in Bollywood, it’ll chase you down (and smother you). But first I have to point out that the couples I’m about to list are only the ones I actually have an honest-to-goodness CRUSH on, not the ones I like or admire in other ways. For example, I love Cliff and Claire Huxtable very much, and they are probably my fave TV couple, but I don’t have a crush on them. And so on to the fun…


NOLLYWOOD

STELLA DAMASUS-ABODERIN & RICHARD MOFE-DAMIJO (RMD): These two actors are probably one of the most successful couples in Nollywood. They have really nice chemistry together, and you can tell that they like and respect each other in real life. These two are so good in all their movies that there have been rumours (untrue) of a real-life romance between the two. An example of their work together is Charles Novia’s ‘The Bridesmaid’, but there are many more. RMD is a great leading man, he does well paired with almost anyone, but I really like him with Stella.




GENEVIEVE NNAJI & RAMSEY NOUAH: These two have done a lot of movies together; unfortunately I can’t remember the name of a single one at the moment (Nollywood movie titles can tend to be forgettable). Just found a picture for one called 'Super Love' - don't think I've seen it, though. Anyway, these two look really good together and act very well together… I like them.

STEPHANIE OKEREKE & ST. OBI: Steph and Saint make a very handsome couple, they’re both tall and striking. And they had great chemistry in the one film I’ve seen them do together – I can’t even remember what it was called but they were fantastic together. Haven’t been able to forget it. They had my aunt in tears in the final scene.


HOLLYWOOD

Okay… this is going to be hard… I can’t possibly do just three in this particular category because there is so much material for this category in ‘old’ movies (which I love) alone… ok, I’m going to bend the rules a bit and do seven.

LESLIE CARON & LOUIS JOURDAN IN ‘GIGI’: Aww, they were so cute. Leslie Caron as ‘Gigi’, the irrepressible tomboy growing into a woman and falling in love at the same time, and Louis Jourdan as ‘Gaston Lachaille’, the playboy finding out that love has been under his nose for years. I love the moment when walks around Paris singing the song ‘Gigi’, he has this wonderful look of exhilaration in his eyes like he’s just coming alive, then at the end of the film, there’s resignation, but also still that passion, as he realises that his life has changed forever – but he likes it. Kinda corny, but beautiful.

TALIA SHIRE & SYLVESTER STALLONE IN ‘ROCKY’: I am a ‘Rocky’ nut – a real junkie. I have all the ‘Rocky’ movies and can’t wait to see ‘Rocky Balboa’. There is just something I love about the movies. In the first movie (which is really the only one which really focuses and zooms in on the romance between this couple – for which reason it’s the least loved of the more macho ‘Rocky’ fans), Talia and Sly play ‘Adrian’ and ‘Rocky’, a couple of neglected, socially inept, lost souls who find a new lease of life in each other. I love their chemistry, and the fact that they don’t need to say much to express their feelings. It’s like they’ve found themselves in each other. I love the moment when they kiss and slide down the wall together. Awesome.

JULIE ANDREWS & CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER IN ‘THE SOUND OF MUSIC’: This movie was a big part of my childhood and I still love it. A friend of mine expressed its appeal well – it has everything: music, comedy, thriller elements, war, villains, and of course, romance. I love how Julie Andrews betrays traces of her attraction all through the film, while Christopher Plummer tries desperately to maintain his state of denial. And I especially love the moment in the garden when Maria and Captain von Trapp finally come clean. When I was younger, I used to cover my eyes when watching it ’cos I just thought it was so embarrassingly romantic.

MEG RYAN AND TOM HANKS IN ‘YOU’VE GOT MAIL’: These two have done a number of movies together, but ‘You’ve Got Mail’ is my fave, which I guess is unusual as most people prefer ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ (‘Sleepless’ was of course inspired by an older classic movie starring another couple I have a crush on – Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr). Anyway, I just love their intelligence as a couple in ‘You’ve Got Mail’, the way they bounce off each other, the way their attraction and connection is so much more than physical – it comes off as way deeper than it should – after all, it’s portrayed in a 90 minute film.

JACK NICHOLSON & DIANE KEATON IN ‘SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE’: Old people in love=cute. I am not a fan of Jack Nicholson, but I have to admit he’s a great actor – and a great (if highly unlikely) leading man. I loved him playing against Helen Hunt in ‘As Good as it Gets’, and Kathy Bates in ‘About Schmidt’ (although they weren’t a couple), but I loved him most of all with the divine Ms. K in ‘Something’s Gotta Give’. They are soooo cute. I love that they made it 100% believable that Diane’s character would leave a hunky young doctor (played by Keanu Reeves) for Jack Nicholson’s aging-Lothario character.

REESE WITHERSPOON & JOAQUIN PHOENIX IN ‘WALK THE LINE’: I love the way these actors portrayed the connection between Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash. I love the fact that they showed all the ‘ugliness’ as well as the beauty of the relationship. I love the way they made the friendship between the characters come alive, not just the romance. I just loved them together – my favourite bit is the proposal scene at the end when Johnny stops singing and just stares at June like she’s the most amazing thing he’s ever seen, and she’s staring right back like ‘What? Do I have a wart on my nose?’

CATE BLANCHETT & JEREMY NORTHAM IN ‘AN IDEAL HUSBAND’: I am a Cate Blanchett fan and I really liked the chemistry between her and Jeremy Northam in this film. They play a husband and wife who find out the truth about each other (well actually, it’s more Cate’s character finding out the truth about Jeremy’s). I like the progression in their relationship from utopia to disenchantment to a greater appreciation of and deeper love for each other. I love the way Jeremy Northam says ‘my wife!’ in this film – quite random but I love it. Rupert Everett and Minnie Driver, who play the other couple in this film, are cute too.


NIGERIAN TV

ENE OLOJA & MACARTHUR FOM IN ‘BEHIND THE CLOUDS’: Ene played ‘Efe’, and MacArthur played ‘Nosa’. This was a fantastic couple, they did the whole ‘young love’ thing so well. Efe stayed in love despite the strictures of her father, Mr. Okonzua (we preferred to call him ‘that wicked Mr. Okonzua’), brilliantly played by the great Zack Amata; and Nosa was just a young sweetheart – he was adored by all the Nigerians who were addicted to their weekly dose of ‘Behind the Clouds’ (8pm every Sunday, just before ‘Newsline’). When MacArthur died tragically, Nigeria mourned him, the cast cried onscreen, and the show was never the same.

EGO BOYO & RMD IN ‘CHECKMATE’: Ego as ‘Anne Haatrope’, and RMD as ...can't remember his name ( but he had this cool tic where he ran his finger under his eye) were just a great couple. They had great chemistry, and kept us glued to their characters’ games with each other.

IRETIOLA DOYLE & RMD (AGAIN!!!) IN ‘SOLITAIRE’: Iretiola Doyle is, in my opinion, one of Nigeria’s best actresses. In ‘Solitaire’, she and RMD play the stereotypical Mills & Boon-type couple who ‘hate’ each other but have all this attraction and sexual tension simmering beneath the surface. They work together, and RMD’s character can’t seem to stop baiting Ireti’s character. They have loads of witty repartee to exchange in the script, and it’s a lot of fun.


OTHER TV

Again, I must bend the rules – I’m doing five…

CARLOS BERNARD & REIKO AYLESWORTH IN ‘24’: This is my ‘crush du jour’. Now I just love these two. I don’t know why. I love them to pieces. There is just something about the way their characters, ‘Tony Almeida’ and ‘Michelle Dessler’ really just fancy each other to bits. They are just so cute together, surreptitiously checking each other out while all busy saving ‘millions of lives’. Even in Season 3, when they are playing a married couple, they’re still cuter than high school sweethearts. And in Season 4, even when they’ve split up, they’re still so cute exchanging ‘secret’ glances. I just love their chemistry. When they kissed for the first time in Season 2, I was in raptures. And they are both so cute and so… well-matched. A pity their chapter's closed for good.

JANE LEEVES & DAVID HYDE PIERCE IN FRASIER: These two do a great job of playing ‘Daphne’ (a brassy, blunt, down-to-earth broad from Manchester) & ‘Niles’ (a posh, finicky, drama queen and neat freak), two characters who are different as chalk and cheese. I love them together. Great chemistry. I think I’ve watched the scene when they finally ’fess up to loving each other a million times.

‘GABRIELLE SWANSON’ & ‘TONY CLEMENTE’ IN ‘THE LADY OF THE ROSE’: These are fictional characters from a Mexican telenovela I watched on Nigerian TV in the 90s (yes, I used to watch telenovelas – very cheesy, I know, and I can’t imagine watching them now, but I used to like them). I don’t know what the actors’ real names are, but they were great. They were rarely onscreen together, but everything they went through in the series was about each other… and it was beautiful how they kept trying to hurt each other but finally had to succumb to ‘the love’.

JENNIFER EHLE AND COLIN FIRTH IN ‘PRIDE AND PREJUDICE’: In this BBC TV adaptation of one of my favourite novels ever, Jennifer Ehle plays the witty, independent Elizabeth Bennet, and Colin Firth plays the aloof and haughty Mr. Darcy. The scene in which Elizabeth and Darcy meet unexpectedly at Pemberley is lovely. Jennifer does very well as a girl who thinks she knows it all but finds she is just as prejudiced as she perceives others to be, but Colin Firth completely overwhelms as Darcy. He is just so… so hot, and so believable, and you can really follow the arc of his character’s development. And he does ‘the look’ beautifully. Absolutely brilliant.

ADAM BRODY AND RACHEL BILSON IN ‘THE O.C.’: I have always wished for a fictional version of this fictional show, in which there’d be no Mischa Barton playing ‘Marissa’ (I find her annoying) and no Benjamin McKenzie playing 'Ryan' (although I think he’s very cute, he’d be totally redundant in my fictional version). There would only be ‘Seth’ and ‘Summer’, who I think are just very cute together. Seth makes me laugh, and Summer is sweet. Adam Brody is great, I love him in ‘The O.C.’, but I also really enjoyed his work back when he was on ‘Gilmore Girls’.


BOLLYWOOD

SHAHRUKH KHAN & KAJOL: I love them together, you can tell they enjoy working together, and I think they bring out the best in each other. They do comedy together very well (the ‘college’ bits in ‘KKHH’), and they do the dramatic moments very well too – like the moment in the rain in ‘KKHH’. I’ve seen only three SRK/Kajol movies – ‘DDLJ’, ‘KKHH’, and ‘3KG’, and I loved them together in all three. ‘3KG’ isn’t one of my favourite movies, but I love the SRK/Kajol bits – in fact, ‘Suraj Hua Maddham’ is my favourite SRK/Kajol picturization. I could (and have) watch it over and over again. And every time I watch it, it makes me happy. Kajol is all graceful and beautiful (love her clothes and make-up), and SRK is… well, SRK is… wet. Watching SRK in all the see-through shirts (and as if their transparency were not enough, they have to be all wet as well – so not fair) in ‘Suraj Hua Maddham’ makes me feel a bit… ummm… voyeur-ish and slightly dirty… I mean, I really do NOT want to see his nipples peeking through the fabric (or do I?) I so cannot believe I am going to publish that last line… but I guess I am.

JAYA BHADURI & AMITABH BACHCHAN: These two are so cute. One all ‘long’ and gangly, the other cute and petite. Both so intense and great to watch. I’ve seen them together in ‘Abhimaan’ (love it when she wakes him up and he grabs her hair and pulls her down), ‘Zanjeer’ (love the bit where they just stand apart and stare at each other for eons, and the bit where he tells her he loves her with the most serious expression ever on his face), ‘Mili’ (love the exchange of letters), and ‘3KG’ (love Jaya getting up on her stool to fix Amit-ji’s tie). I love them.

RANI MUKHERJI & ABHISHEK BACHCHAN (A.K.A. ‘BUNTY AUR BABLI’): Now Bunty aur Babli are just the cutest couple. Yes, they lie, they cheat, they steal, but they are like two kids just having a blast with each other. They are two misfits who suddenly find their ‘fit’. For me, Rani is always great to watch, I’ve seen her do well against several other actors, but I really like her and Abhi causing mayhem and having a big ol’ blast in ‘B&B’. Part of it is that I think they have a similar kind of dynamic to Abhishek’s dad had/has (onscreen) with Jaya. A shame they didn’t hit it off in real life – I don’t find the Abhi/Ash energy quite as appealing (although of course onscreen chemistry is very, very different from real life stuff). Good luck to them though.

The Whole Thing Is That...

So I finally saw 'Bluffmaster', and I'm glad I've added Mr. Abhishek Bachchan to my sidebar of fave Bollywood actors (thanks Maja and Uzo for the heads up), because I am now a firm fan.

The movie was quite entertaining and I enjoyed it, although it seemed like halfway it morphed into a different movie altogether. But it was good fun and well worth watching. Abhi has proved he can carry a movie... unlike in 'Bunty aur Babli', he wasn't sharing top billing with anyone else in 'Bluffmaster'. I won't say much about the plot so as not to spoil the movie for anyone, but Abhi plays 'Roy' a conman, and Priyanka Chopra plays his unsuspecting girlfriend, 'Simmi'. There was a fair bit of comedy in the film (Riteish Desmukh - hope I spelt his name right, was quite funny, as was the actor who played 'Dr. Bhalrao' and the guy who played the villain of the piece). There was a some drama, a bit of action, and a little romance... and a nice satisfying ending. I liked all the tongue-in-cheek references to oldies like 'Sholay' and 'Do Aur Do Paanch'. I like tributes like that. The direction was pretty cool and creative. I really liked this bit, for example:

Nice touch, n'est-ce pas?

On the female lead, Priyanka Chopra...there is no doubt that she's very beautiful, as these pictures prove:

I must confess I quite liked this scene... I thought it was very nicely shot although the vein in the centre of Abhishek's forehead apparently pops out when he's lying down... (hence no photo of him in bed)

But there is something very wet-blankety about Ms. Chopra's acting. I mean, you never believe her. She is really unconvincing as an actress, there's something 'vacant' somewhere. Almost as though she's a bit bored. It always seems a bit superficial. Even when she's doing an 'emotional' scene, you don't quite believe it:

"Really, you've run out of my favourite magazine? Again? What happened this time?"

It isn't a matter of subtlety (Tabu is a subtle actress, but she's quite convincing).

"Really? I hope I haven't left the oven on at home..."

Priya just always seems to lack depth as an actress. But anyway, she is very pretty. And I like the fact that her make-up never looks as though it was applied with a miniature shovel, which is more than I can say for some people (e.g Ms. Rai). Priyanka is not, in my opinion, a bad actress. She's... okay. She just needs to put her back into it. I've seen her in 'Waqt' and now 'Bluffmaster' and been so far unimpressed. I hope she can change my mind sometime soon. As as aside, I actually enjoy her dance numbers more than her acting... maybe (if she can sing) she would actually be more suited to the music industry than movies.

You sure are pretty girl, but loosen up and ACT!

But back to Abhishek... I like his style, and he had truckloads of style in this movie. So instead of going on and on about 'Bluffmaster' (if you haven't seen it already, go see it, it's good); here are some pictures of my newest semi-crush just because:

(L - R on each row of pictures)

1. The Bluffmaster himself...

2. Abhi 'in a pensive mood' (that's a Nigerian joke)...

3. Abhi looking very goofy (he's walking on sunshine, ooh ooh)...

4. Abhi on the beach (in a word, NICE)...

5. If you look really closely at this 5th one, you can see his nostril-hairs. Priyanka's checking them out and thinking "if I were Ash, I'd give you a good fortnightly trim."...

6. Abhi looking tres cool... this shot reminds me of Abhishek's daddy in his old movies...

7. Want some more Abhishek? ...

8. Pleased to oblige.

Isn't he just so cute?

And even if he did chat up the wrong girl in the movie...

(I love the look in his eyes here, maybe he was thinking about his true love)

...at least, after shooting, he and I left together for a nice romantic stroll on the beach:

Aaawww..... it was soooo romantic (the stroll on the beach, that is)...