WHO’S YOUR FAVOURITE KHAN?

I know there are quite a few Khans in Bollywood, but for the purposes of this tag, I am limiting myself to 4. No prizes for guessing which 4, though. It’s the 4 delicious actors who regularly make females (and a few males too) gasp with delight, and reach for their ice-cold Cokes (to cool them down) whenever they appear on their movie screens. Any Fardeen fans reading this, yes, I know he does it for you but he doesn’t quite make my list, sorry. Here, in descending order of preference, are ‘my’ 4 Khans.

1. SHAH RUKH KHAN:

Far and away my favourite of the 4 Khans. Why do I like SRK so much? It’s a combination of things: the fact that I get the feeling he is fearless about acting and will take on almost any part as long as he gets paid and gets a kick out of it. The fact that he seems so deliciously outspoken and diva-ish in real life – I always like divas, as long as they don’t go completely round-the-bend like MJ.

I like the fact that SRK obviously does not take himself too seriously and is just enjoying himself and having fun with every movie. I love the fact that SRK seems very human – slightly arrogant, slightly childish, a bit silly sometimes, trying to quit smoking, trying silly fashion trends – he seems real.

I love the fact that he is a great dancer and a great lip-syncher and that he’s cheap enough to dance for a fee at weddings. I love it when he gets all romantic and sweet. I love it when he gets all intense. Like Maja, I quite like his eyebrows. I love all his dumb same-y mannerisms – the shrug, the sideways look, the downward look, the hand through the hair, the sob-sob cry, the sniff-sniff laugh – I love it ALL. I think he is a very talented actor. He has been able to sell a distinctive product – himself. I love his nice physique. I love the fact that he climbed to the top from practically nothing and doesn’t seem to care that he’s hated for his success. Ok, I will stop. I’m probably nauseating someone right about now. But a couple more things:

I love his smile(s) – notice how he has variations:

sad smile – ‘no, Simran I won’t come to your wedding. I won’t come’

happy smile – ‘my little brother Laxman'

Happy smile - 'I got the pretty girl!' - from 'Yes Boss'

comical smile – in almost any scene with Johnny Lever in ‘Baadshah’

With Juhi in 'Yes Boss'

hot smile:

checking a babe out smile:
Checking Preity out in her borrowed Punjabi outfit in 'Veer Zaara'

People talk a lot about how all SRK’s characters are the same, but I actually don’t agree: for me, his cheeky annoying ‘DDLJ’ character is very different from his creepy ‘Darr’ character or his cute dorky-but-manly ‘Main Hoon Na’ character or his hot and oh-so-brave-and-regal ‘Asoka’ character. Anyway, as you can tell, I really like SRK – so I won’t bore you with any more details.
Favourite SRK performances: Main Hoon Na (absolutely LOVE this movie), Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (he was annoying at first but very good - it probably shouldn't be here but I'm sentimental about the movie)

Least fave: Mohabbatein (awful fake-pretend violin-playing, was so sick of it), Pardes (he was okay but fought a bit too much. First time I wished he’d just die in a movie and be done with it. Needless to say, he denied me that small satisfaction)


2. AAMIR KHAN:

Why do I like this guy? He is a hardworking and intense actor (at least he appears to be). He’s got that alternative arty thing which can be quite sexy. He is cute and I love his eyes. He makes shortness look hot – see ‘Lagaan’ and ‘Mangal Pandey’. He has such a charming and natural smile – and those creases that appear at the sides of his eyes when he smiles really should be unattractive, but somehow aren’t. He can be funny, dramatic, subtle, serious, goofy, whatever you need him to be - and he's committed to being the best character actor he can be. You never get the sense that he's putting you on.

He can dance and lip-sync great. He makes his characters believable and real, and he makes you feel the energy and emotions of each character. Even when he does dreadful movies, he stands out. He is hot (but I think I’ve already said that). He’s always doing something different. You can really trace his development over the years - although he is a VERY natural talent (his early work shows so much star quality that it's almost blinding). Notice I have focused only on his acting, as I’m not sure what to make of him away from the movies (not that it’s any of my beeswax).

Aamir, Kajol, Ajay and Juhi doing ther best 'I'm weirdly stunned' look in 'Ishq' - Juhi obviously doesn't get it and falls back on her cuteness.
Aamir in his romantic-teenage-girl-pinup days, acting all defiant with Madhuri Dixit in 'Dil'. They had great chemistry in this film.

Favourite Aamir performances: Rangeela (didn’t like the film that much, but LOVED the way he said ‘Arre Milli’ in it – I know, ‘tis random), Dil Chahta Hai (loved the way he clowned around with the boys and with Preity. ‘Jaane kyon, jaane kyon, jaane kyon, jaane kyon, jaane kyon’ – sorry just having a brief DCH moment).

Least fave: Akele Hum, Akele Tum (he wasn’t actually bad in this movie, but I can’t get over the fact that it’s almost a scene-for-scene copy of Kramer v. Kramer; and when I hear that ‘Yes, I love you Daddy’ song that sounds kinda like the theme song from ‘Love Story’, I’m not sure whether to say ‘how cute’ or just to throw up.)


3. SAIF ALI KHAN:



I know... I could at least have found a photo that showed his face... but still.. it's a great view, ne-c'est-pas?

Reasons I love Saif Ali Khan. He’s cute. He does boyish very well. He does funny and charming very well. He does mischievous very well. BUT I’m finding he also does serious, mature and deep very well. I like the fact that he seems to be growing and developing as an actor. He’s an expressive and honest actor. He throws himself into each movie. He’s cool. He seems intelligent. He seems like good fun. He seems like the boy-next-door despite having famous parents (although I've heard he's not as down-to-earth as he seems). He seems like a guy who is just trying to make it – aww, bless his heart. He’s been a bit 'controversial' by marrying an older woman for love – I like that, even if it didn’t work out. He’s cute – but I think I already said that.

Favourite Saif performances: Kal Ho Naa Ho (he totally overshadowed my SRK in this movie. I loved the chemistry between his character and SRK’s character), Parineeta (in a challenging role, I think he did very well – I was impressed).

Least fave: You know what? I actually haven’t badly disliked Saif in any movies yet (at least, the ones I’ve seen) and haven’t disliked any of his movies badly either. Will update this as soon as I do. It’s bound to happen eventually.


4. SALMAN KHAN:


So, Uzo, I get to finally answer your question. Why is Salman my least favourite Khan? You know what? It’s hard to express. But like my little sis would say: ‘I just don’t like him’. Maybe it’s that sugar-sweet, I’m so cute, I’m so funny, I’m so fake-pretend half-Italian (ok, I know, low blow, that wasn’t actually his fault) thing he does sometimes. Maybe it’s the fact that he is determined to show off his pecs NO MATTER WHAT. He just has to take that shirt off and pump some iron at some point. Maybe I think the pecs are a little too large and He-Man-ish for my personal taste.


Maybe he’s just too cheesy and over-eager. Maybe he tries a little too hard ‘Neelam? He he. Yo Neelam!’ Maybe he just feels very ’80s to me – and not in a cute ‘Hello, is it me you’re looking for’, Cosby Show-ish way; more like in a bad the-guys-from-the-A Night at the Roxbury-movie-or-whatever-that-Will-Ferrell-movie-was-called; Rico-Suave-ish way. For some reason, in his real life he seems rather insecure and a bit of a baby at his not-exactly-spring-chicken-ish age – and what was that whole thing with Aishwarya? Didn’t she say he abused her or something? And did he really shoot a croc or something crazy like that? Ok, I’ll get off the personal life track now before I confuse anyone. This is supposed to be about his acting.

The truth is, having said all that, Salman is not that bad. He may be my least favourite Khan, but I’ve enjoyed several movies he’s been in. Really and truly I have.

Favourite Salman performance: Chori Chori Chupke Chupke (he was really good in this film, which had a really silly storyline but got by on good acting), Hum Aapke Hain Koun (he was young, wide-eyed and kinda goofy-cute, and he said ‘Painting, bhaiyya, painting, which was kinda cute)
Salman, Rani and borrowed baby in 'Chori Chori Chupke Chupke'

Least fave: Lucky – No Time for Love (this is an absolutely painful watch and should be seen by no-one), Pyaar Kiya To Darna Kya (once he did his shirtless-rock-star number, not even the presence of my screen faves Dharmendra, Kajol and VK could make this finish this film – drats, I could have had 5 movies on my Dharmendra-movies-I’ve-seen list. LOL

Who’s tagged?

Did I mention that this was a tag? So, I tag the following lucky 4 ‘Khans’:

Beth Loves Bollywood
Maja
Sheetal Makhan
T-Hype

I hope someone on the above list is up to this (and if no-one really is, someone please just take pity on me and do it anyway). Basically (and as briefly or longwinded-ly as you like), what’s your order of preference for the 4 Khans, and which 2 performances of each one do you like most and dislike most?