'YEH VAADA RAHA' ('The Promise') (or joining the ranks of my fellow Nigerians)

So finally I qualify as a true Naija ‘born, bred and buttered’ pikin. Yep, I recently saw ‘Yeh Vaada Raha’ (also known as ‘The Promise). Perhaps I should explain. ‘Yeh Vaada Raha’ is arguably one of the most well-known Bollywood movies in Nigeria – definitely one of the top 5 anyway (I blogged about this before, here). I’m sure I was in primary school when I first heard the theme song for the movie and saw people doing the ‘clap-slap’ thing that Vikky and Sunita do in the movie. And I kept hearing about the movie right from primary school in the 80’s, through secondary school and university in the ‘90s, and even today. Nigerians love this movie – and a whole LOT of Nigerians have watched it. If there was to be a poll of Indian movies Nigerians like, it’d be in the top 3 – fo’ sho’.

'Ooh, come here, you little oochie coochie coo'. Vikram and Sunita in the theme song.

Anyway, somehow, I never saw ‘Yeh Vaada Raha’ as a kid. I knew the whole story though, I had been ‘gisted’ about it many times by a lot of my friends. I knew the theme song and the other song (which I like to call ‘La la la la la la la la laaa’) from the movie. I knew the clap-slap thing. I knew all about how Vikky and Sunita fall in love, then Sunita loses her face in an accident and gets a totally new one (I’ve blogged about fake-pretend cures before here – wonder if the people that did ‘Yakeen’ – which I reviewed here – saw ‘Yeh Vaada Raha’ and used it for inspiration. Probably not, I have a feeling the ‘new face’ thing’s been done to death).

'Ji, Sunita, not only has the doctor given you a new face, he's tweezed your eyebrows for you while at it'.

So what do I think about ‘Yeh Vaada Raha’? It is good fun, really. Yes, the story sometimes makes no sense and the plot has more holes in it than a king-sized colander, but for all its silliness, it’s a good film. The acting is good: Rakhee gets to terrify me again as the strict mother – saw her in the more recent ‘Dil Ka Rishta’ and ‘Baadshah’, but liked her more in ‘Yeh Vaada Raha’. The man who plays the miracle-working plastic surgeon is deliciously larger-than-life, and Rishi Kapoor does a very decent job as the romantic lead, Vikram (‘Vikky’) – I really liked him here. The music in the film is lovely, really sweet.

Terrifying, nasty and mean, yet somehow likeable - Rakhee in 'Yeh Vaada Raha'.

As for Sunita, I liked ‘old Sunita’ (Poonam Dhillon) much more than ‘new Sunita’ (Tina Munim) because new Sunita sometimes behaved like a diva chick doing fash-pa in secondary school (that statement can only be totally understood by someone who went to a Nigerian boarding house, anyone else, I could tell you that fash-pa is short for ‘fashion parade’ but you still wouldn’t quite get it, sorry). Despite my very marked preference for Sunita 1 over Sunita 2, both ladies did very well. If Sunita 2’s behaviour was a bit stupid (‘I will give up my love for Vicky so he can get loads of money and enjoy it with his new wife’ – very very slightly romantic maybe, but rather daft), that’s noone’s fault but the scriptwriter’s.

Sunita 1 (Poonam Dhillon) - liked her better than Sunita 2

The flaws in ‘Yeh Vaada Raha’ are many (about a gazillion), but that’s not important. Get into the spirit of this and you'll love it. The oh-so-warm feeling you get from the movie makes up for the fact that, for example, Sunita’s speaking voice changes completely after the accident (although her singing voice – provided by Asha Bhosle - remains the same).

Unlike ‘Teri Meherbaniyan’ (which I reviewed a while ago here - also starring Poonam Dhillion, by the way - and as a random addition, she's also in Sanjay Dutt's '80s classsic, 'Naam'); I totally understand why this film is popular in Nigeria. It’s the ‘Love Nwantinti’ in the film – we dig that kinda stuff. I wish I could interpret ‘Love Nwantinti’ properly (for any non-Nig person reading this)… have to think of another way to express that.

Sunita and Vikky in 'Love Nwantinti'

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH BOLLYWOOD WHEN...

Naked Guitar Earl Klugh!!!
Originally uploaded by lancebowski.

...you're at a wonderful jazz concert (on Saturday night, featuring the awesome Lagbaja and the sublime Earl Klugh), and you have to physically restrain yourself from lifting your hand, shaking your head, and going 'Vaah! Vaah!', after each amazing performance.

I think I just might need a break from Bollywood...

‘UMRAO JAAN’ (1981)

In view of the release of the new ‘Umrao Jaan’ film, I finally got round to watching my 'Umrao Jaan' DVD. Produced and directed by Muzaffar Ali, and released in 1981, the original film stars Rekha in a performance that is seen as the defining role of her career.


The new ‘Umrao Jaan’ stars Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan. According a review I read on the radiosargam website, the new movie is a poorly-directed disappointment. The review also says Ash looks beautiful (the reviewer even compares her beauty to Rekha’s, as though that has anything to do with anything) but that her performance isn’t great, and that Abhishek was woefully miscast, although he and Ash have great chemistry in their scenes together. Guess I’ll have to wait awhile to find out if I agree.

After seeing the original ‘Umrao Jaan’, though, I wonder why they’re doing a remake. I guess they just couldn’t resist putting Ash in ornate costumes and jewelry (I always think Ash is at her most gorgeous dressed in traditional Indian outfits); and showcasing her dancing skills. I can’t really think of any other reasons to remake this movie without updating it (as was done with ‘Don’) or trying to put a new spin on it. Having said that, I guess Ash is the natural choice for this character. The only other person I can see in this role (although she would never be given it) is Madhuri Dixit.

Anyway, to the old movie. ‘Umrao Jaan’ is the story of a courtesan of the same name. The movie is set in the 19th century, and is based on a famous Urdu novel (which I now badly want to read). Umrao (then known as Amiraan) is kidnapped from her parents as a child by a man who holds a grudge against her father. He intends to kill her, but later decides to sell her to the madam of a brothel in Lucknow. The madam changes her name to ‘Umrao’. She is raised in the dysfunctional family that exists in the brothel, and learns to sing and dance beautifully – no, exquisitely. She also becomes an accomplished poet in her own right.

The courtesan is a familiar figure in Indian cinema. Watch a few movies and you’re bound to meet one. Tainted, loved, lusted after, reviled, envied, despised, praised, used, adored, hated, worshipped… she is usually presented as a doomed woman – one who has no option but to continue to entertain strangers, because she can never be anything more. She is also often presented as a woman with a goddess-like ability to love and forgive unconditionally. More often than not, I get the sense that the courtesan is used as an object (albeit one that arouses extremely ambivalent and complex feelings), a relic, not a person.


I loved this movie. The script is excellent, the movie is beautifully shot (great directing), and the music is out of this world – fantastic songs. It's not perfect - there are some glaring continuity errors, and the fake-pretend instrumentalists accompanying Umrao's songs are a bit jarring. But, altogether, it's a very good movie and everyone involved did very well. Supported by a very good cast, however, this movie belongs to Rekha. Rekha is absolutely stunning in this movie – she infuses so much life into her character with every look, every movement, and every word. She really becomes ‘Umrao Jaan’, and I think Aishwarya must be very brave (or unwise) to take on a role that was so wonderfully inhabited in the original film.

Rekha makes Umrao, despite her exquisite beauty and elegance, a woman I could instantly relate to. Without ever really letting go of the reserve, mystery and ‘stature’ of the character, she lets you see that at heart, Umrao is just another woman desperate to be loved and accepted. She is vulnerable, in need of affirmation and support. She is just another woman torn between loyalty to the people to have raised (and used) her, and the desire to be someone else. In a way, Umrao is a very mundane character. There are thousands of Umraos - they can be found in every city and village in the world. Rekha makes her elusive and mysterious, but also very (and tragically) real. Not an object, not a religious relic, but a person.

At the end of the film, when Umrao comes full circle, she is told that it would have better if she had died. It’s an interesting (though appalling) comment, considering the fact that she was to have been killed at the beginning, and was only spared because of greed – and her kidnapper probably congratulated himself later on his humanity in selling her rather than killing her. Umrao’s choice at the very end (I’m trying hard not to spoil) makes total sense to me – what are her options?

The script raises many issues surrounding the traditions of the brothel. They apply just as much to every city in the world as they do to Lucknow. Thankfully, the film doesn’t attempt to answer the questions it raises – that would have ruined it. It shows you how complex the relationship is between the madam who makes a killing from the girls in her brothel, while effectively enslaving them; and the girls who can’t help but love her, although they hate her. The opening scene, showing Umrao being adorned almost as a bride (something she can never be) is very moving. ‘Umrao Jaan’ shows you how the activities in the brothel affect families outside it. And, particularly at the heartrending end of the movie, it shows you the overwhelming hypocrisy of society in condemning women who live in the world of the brothel.

Umrao’s story, she is once told, is her ‘fate’ (which I think is hogwash). She disagrees. She thinks she is simply a victim of cruel circumstance. Although I disagree, her opinion seems to makes sense, because as she finds out, a simple circumstance (which, interestingly, had to do with the shade of her skin) could have changed the path of her life completely. But she was powerless, and left to the mercy of others’ choices. Like so many other things in life, at the end of the day, it comes down to one question – who holds the power? And what do they do with it?

Nobody mentions the huge role that human weakness, greed, pettiness, selfishness, cowardice and just sheer cruelty play in Umrao's story, but the great thing about this film is that nobody has to – it’s glaring. The characters in the brothel even try to exculpate themselves by saying that Umrao’s fate would have been worse if she had been bought by a wealthy woman to act as a maid – which turns out to be oh-soooo-very-ironic.

This film leaves the viewer with so many questions – but it’s not depressing, although it's desperately sad. In a way, it’s actually inspiring and thought-provoking, because it shows both the bad and the good (and the huge gray area in between) that exists in each one of us. The great thing about this story, to me, is that it’s very much an everyday story, despite its appears larger-than-life presentation. I once read on someone's blog that the new 'Umrao Jaan' might not succeed because people don't understand the old traditions of the courtesan anymore; but knowing next-to-nothing about those traditions did not at all prevent me from enjoying this film and thinking about the issues it raises.

I’ve seen Rekha in two other films. She played another courtesan, 'Zohrabai', in ‘Muqaddar ka Sikandar’, also starring Amitabh Bachchan and Vinod Khanna – a very good performance. I’ve also seen her in ‘Ghazab’, with Dharmendra, in which she was also very good. But in ‘Umrao Jaan’ she is simply spellbinding.

PS Just read on Maja's blog that the new 'Umrao Jaan' isn't a remake but a new treatment of the classic novel. Unfortunately too lazy to edit my post!

ON HRISHIKESH MUKHERJEE, JAYA BHADURI AND BEING ‘CHARMING’

'Charming'… it’s such an old-fashioned word. And one that’s slightly tainted by association for me, because of the old pervy man who told me I was ‘charming’ in the library and then tried to kiss me behind the shelves when no-one was looking when I was 13.

Nevertheless, ‘charming’ is the only word that comes to mind when I think of Hrishikesh Mukherjee movies. Comparatively speaking (for Bollywood), Hrishikesh Mukherjee, who passed away a couple of months ago, didn’t make a whole lot of movies. IMDb lists 42 movies directed by him. But a number of his movies are classics which will continue to stand the test of time. Probably his most famous is ‘Anand’, starring Rajesh Khanna and Amitabh Bachchan. I haven’t seen it yet, but I have seen 3 HM movies, and they’re what this post is about.

The 3 HM movies I’ve seen are all simple, they are character films, with no flashy sets (in fact the sets were a bit dodgy), expensive costuming or bizarre storylines. No guns, no gore, and few musical numbers. They’re not even long by Bollywood standards – each one is about 2 hours long. But they are really good movies. I love the way HM made these films – they are simple, they are heartfelt, they are honest, they are about the actors, and they are about ‘ordinary’ people. He captures something about the ‘middle class’ that resonates with the viewer in a very real and engaging way. HM had a way of shooting a scene in a way that made you wonder if the simplicity you were perceiving was real or just a front for something far deeper and richer. I personally tend towards the latter view.

The 3 HM films I’ve seen all featured Jaya Bhaduri, Amitabh Bachchan and G. Asrani. In one of them, though, Bachchan never appears on screen – he’s the narrator. In another one, G. Asrani only makes a brief guest appearance. And the same guy who plays a respected older musician in one of the 3 movies also plays a doctor in another of the movies. HM obviously enjoyed working with these actors, and he knew how to bring out the best in them… especially Ms. Jaya Bhaduri (a.k.a Mrs. Jaya Bachchan).

JAYA BHADURI! I simply LOVE this woman as an actress. She can do passionate and repressed, boisterous and reserved, energetic and passive, spunky and meek… and she makes it all look easy. She has a very minimalist style of acting, but it just sucks you in. All it takes is a small motion with her hands, an arch of the eyebrows, and you completely just GET (or become intrigued by) what her character is expressing. Beautiful. When I’m watching a Jaya B performance, it’s almost like she’s got me glued to the screen with just her sheer energy and spirit. She’s a great actress. As an aside, I also love the fact that she once said she would let no-one, not even Big B, the Baadshah of Bollywood, dictate the course of her career (or words to that effect). I just love strong independent women (and the men who go after them - but that's another story).

Anyway, enough gushing (I can't help it though, I'm a gusher). Time to talk about the 3 H. Mukherjee movies I’ve seen.


1. ‘Bawarchi’ (1972): ‘Bawarchi’ is a sweet little film. It’s about the Sharma family, an extended family who all live together in a house called ‘Shanti Niwas’. Despite the name of the house, it’s anything but peaceful inside. There’s quarrelling, envy, degradation, addiction, illness, and a general lack of understanding. The atmosphere is so toxic that the family is always looking for a new ‘bawarchi’ (cook). All this changes when Rajesh Khanna’s character, a ‘special’ new bawarchi, comes along. He changes everything, of course. And it’s beautiful to see.


My favourite scene from 'Bawarchi' - the fantasy number about a bride

Jaya is great in this film. The rest of the cast is pretty good too, although I felt Asrani was slightly miscast, or maybe he just didn’t really get into his role... or I just missed something. But I didn’t enjoy this movie as much as I could have, mostly because I didn’t really ‘get’ the lead role, played by Rajesh Khanna. Part of me feels that Khanna could have played it better, the other part says maybe I just missed some kind of subtext (as I'm sure I always do, not understanding the language). Anyway, I wasn’t sure I liked Khanna’s character much, he just felt like such a meddler – a busybody. So for that reason I’m slightly ambivalent about ‘Bawarchi’.

2. ‘Abhimaan’ (1973): ‘Abhimaan’! ‘Abhimaan’! I really love this movie. It’s just brilliant. It stars Amit-Ji as a famous singer who marries a simple shy young girl (played by Jaya B). Interestingly, Jaya’s character turns out to be a talented singer as well. One day, she records a song with her hubby (it was all his idea), and everything changes. Suddenly, hubby is playing second fiddle to wifey. Things get ugly – all I’ll say here is that someone eventually ‘turns into a stone’ (whatever that means).

Jaya and Amit-Ji are simply wonderful in this movie, and it’s been called their best performance together. I have to agree: they were great in ‘Sholay’, and in ‘Zanjeer’ (there was that awesome stare moment in ‘Zanjeer’ – whoa! And the way AB finally tells Jaya he loves her, with his face as hard as granite and nary a hint of a smile – awesome!). They were also lovely in ‘Mili’, which I’ll be discussing next, and even more recently in K3G. I’m sure they were also great in their other performances together (must find out what they are), but I doubt that any of them works as well as ‘Abhimaan’ does.

Jaya acts her socks off in this movie – and the amazing thing is that she says very little in the film. It’s in the look in her eyes, the movement of her head, the little gestures – and it’s powerful. Amit-Ji also does a very good job – the character he’s playing is an absolute TOAD, but Amitabh strips him down and plays him honestly, and it ends up being very appealing (didn’t really care for the lip-touching thing, though – it got a bit much). It’s an honest performance.

Jaya and Amit-Ji’s chemistry in this movie is amazing. Really, it is. They just heat up the screen. And when the power balance changes (ie when Jaya starts to get some individuality in the marriage), it’s also very striking the way it instantly affects their relationship. This is one thing I like about Bollywood – intimacy does not necessarily have to be about getting naked. The intimacy and passion portrayed by this couple is very real – and maybe that’s particularly because ‘Abhimaan’ was made in the same year this real-life couple got married!

3. ‘Mili’ (1975): This is my most recent Hrishikesh Mukherjee movie, and wow! It’s beautiful. Again, simple, and about ‘ordinary’ people, but so warmly and genuinely done. ‘Mili’, played by Jaya is a happy-go-lucky, caring young woman, and also an infirm one. Into her life comes ‘Shekhar’, a traumatized young man who’s turned to alcohol after a scandal affecting his parents. This film appears to be just a regular melodrama on the surface of it, but it’s actually deeper than that, thanks to a good script by Bimal Dutta, who also wrote 'Anand'. It’s also a film about the father-daughter bond (which OF COURSE really appealed to me), about the bond between a child and the woman who raised her, about family, about love, about pain and loss, and about life. And a lot of it felt very real and true to me.

Amit-Ji tries to swallow Jaya alive...

...but hey, she gets her own back later on.

Jaya as 'Mili', with the 'girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes'... and one orange sash to match Jaya's sari.

The acting in this film is what makes it rise above the average melodrama. Jaya’s performance is never self-indulgent, it’s kinda disciplined actually. She draws you into her character’s life without ever patronising you or getting schmaltzy or maudlin. From the moment she appears onscreen, I just couldn’t look away. Just a great performance. Amit-Ji is also good in this film – although his character experiences a rather unlikely change of heart, he makes you believe it’s possible. And the scene where he tells Jaya something like ‘why would I marry one else when I love you’?? Just carry me away now!

Amitabh Bachchan all dark and cute

It’s difficult to pick the best performance in this film, as Jaya and Amitabh are so strong (Jaya more so than AB, I think), but if I had to, I would pick Ashok Kumar (who plays Mili’s father). He is absolutely wonderful in this film. The way he expresses emotion is so real and honest, it just tugs at your heartstrings. It’s beautiful. The scenes with him and Jaya? Awesome. The last scene in the film with the look on his face? His body language? My favourite scene – so raw, so evocative… so heartbreaking yet inspiring.

Great acting from Ashok Kumar... loved this scene too.

For me, this was the film's most moving scene... and so well shot.

A bit of an obvious device really, but I still like.

The imagery in ‘Mili’ is also worth mentioning. The use of height (very effective), the use of flying, as signified by the plane scenes. Death represented by the dying flowers, but the flowers also represent life – something being born in the lives of the lead characters who fall in love over flowers and notes (an awesome sequence, by the way). The use of writing, of letters (both of the alphabet and the kind you write to someone you love). I could go on, but I won’t. Anyway, I love ‘Mili’ – it’s the kind of film that makes you feel, but it also makes you think. If I had to give it a tagline, it would be ‘Melodrama done right’! I think part of the reason I like this film so much is that due to recent events in my life, I can REALLY relate to the story – but that’s a good thing. I like a story I can ‘feel’.

It's a bird, it's a plane... no actually, it's a plane.

Now, I’m going to get ‘Chupke Chupke’ (which has already been recommended by Beth), also directed by Hrishikesh Mukherjee and starring my dear Dharmendra and Sharmila Tagore, whom I also love. Can’t wait!

But for now, I'm getting more 'Mili-licious' on here.

Amitabh all unshaven and bothered...

I like this shot because of the sculpture on the wall glaring at Amit's head... plus he looks Abhishek-y here.

I understand, Aunty, you're trying to get me to overdose on drugs... thanks.

This little girl's mama was so very excited about her daughter's two scenes in this film... that she went a bit overboard on the kajal and lipstick... and jewelry... and clothes...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAHRUKH KHAN!

I said just about everything I'd like to say about SRK yesterday, so all I'll say today is Happy 41st Birthday, SRK... and please try to quit smoking. Cigarettes are not good for you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

A VERY CUTE QUOTE

I have decided to repent and to remember my first love. This blog is dedicated to Dharmendra, but I have done quite a few posts on other Bollywood-related subjects. Mainly, these posts have been slightly silly and have focused a bit too much on hotness. I should apologise, but it has been far too much fun! Anyways, in an effort to act my age and return to my love for Dharmendra, here is a lovely quote I dug up on rediff.com about my dear Dharmendra. The quote is from an interview with Dharam's wife of 26 years, the lovely Hema Malini, and I think it's quite sweet:

If I have any regrets they are that I couldn't do more romantic films with Dharmendra. Though we were a hit pair we couldn't really create any impact with our films. Which is ironical because we were so much in love. I think perhaps because we were so much in love we forgot all about creating a romantic screen pair.

WHO’S YOUR FAVOURITE KHAN?

I know there are quite a few Khans in Bollywood, but for the purposes of this tag, I am limiting myself to 4. No prizes for guessing which 4, though. It’s the 4 delicious actors who regularly make females (and a few males too) gasp with delight, and reach for their ice-cold Cokes (to cool them down) whenever they appear on their movie screens. Any Fardeen fans reading this, yes, I know he does it for you but he doesn’t quite make my list, sorry. Here, in descending order of preference, are ‘my’ 4 Khans.

1. SHAH RUKH KHAN:

Far and away my favourite of the 4 Khans. Why do I like SRK so much? It’s a combination of things: the fact that I get the feeling he is fearless about acting and will take on almost any part as long as he gets paid and gets a kick out of it. The fact that he seems so deliciously outspoken and diva-ish in real life – I always like divas, as long as they don’t go completely round-the-bend like MJ.

I like the fact that SRK obviously does not take himself too seriously and is just enjoying himself and having fun with every movie. I love the fact that SRK seems very human – slightly arrogant, slightly childish, a bit silly sometimes, trying to quit smoking, trying silly fashion trends – he seems real.

I love the fact that he is a great dancer and a great lip-syncher and that he’s cheap enough to dance for a fee at weddings. I love it when he gets all romantic and sweet. I love it when he gets all intense. Like Maja, I quite like his eyebrows. I love all his dumb same-y mannerisms – the shrug, the sideways look, the downward look, the hand through the hair, the sob-sob cry, the sniff-sniff laugh – I love it ALL. I think he is a very talented actor. He has been able to sell a distinctive product – himself. I love his nice physique. I love the fact that he climbed to the top from practically nothing and doesn’t seem to care that he’s hated for his success. Ok, I will stop. I’m probably nauseating someone right about now. But a couple more things:

I love his smile(s) – notice how he has variations:

sad smile – ‘no, Simran I won’t come to your wedding. I won’t come’

happy smile – ‘my little brother Laxman'

Happy smile - 'I got the pretty girl!' - from 'Yes Boss'

comical smile – in almost any scene with Johnny Lever in ‘Baadshah’

With Juhi in 'Yes Boss'

hot smile:

checking a babe out smile:
Checking Preity out in her borrowed Punjabi outfit in 'Veer Zaara'

People talk a lot about how all SRK’s characters are the same, but I actually don’t agree: for me, his cheeky annoying ‘DDLJ’ character is very different from his creepy ‘Darr’ character or his cute dorky-but-manly ‘Main Hoon Na’ character or his hot and oh-so-brave-and-regal ‘Asoka’ character. Anyway, as you can tell, I really like SRK – so I won’t bore you with any more details.
Favourite SRK performances: Main Hoon Na (absolutely LOVE this movie), Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (he was annoying at first but very good - it probably shouldn't be here but I'm sentimental about the movie)

Least fave: Mohabbatein (awful fake-pretend violin-playing, was so sick of it), Pardes (he was okay but fought a bit too much. First time I wished he’d just die in a movie and be done with it. Needless to say, he denied me that small satisfaction)


2. AAMIR KHAN:

Why do I like this guy? He is a hardworking and intense actor (at least he appears to be). He’s got that alternative arty thing which can be quite sexy. He is cute and I love his eyes. He makes shortness look hot – see ‘Lagaan’ and ‘Mangal Pandey’. He has such a charming and natural smile – and those creases that appear at the sides of his eyes when he smiles really should be unattractive, but somehow aren’t. He can be funny, dramatic, subtle, serious, goofy, whatever you need him to be - and he's committed to being the best character actor he can be. You never get the sense that he's putting you on.

He can dance and lip-sync great. He makes his characters believable and real, and he makes you feel the energy and emotions of each character. Even when he does dreadful movies, he stands out. He is hot (but I think I’ve already said that). He’s always doing something different. You can really trace his development over the years - although he is a VERY natural talent (his early work shows so much star quality that it's almost blinding). Notice I have focused only on his acting, as I’m not sure what to make of him away from the movies (not that it’s any of my beeswax).

Aamir, Kajol, Ajay and Juhi doing ther best 'I'm weirdly stunned' look in 'Ishq' - Juhi obviously doesn't get it and falls back on her cuteness.
Aamir in his romantic-teenage-girl-pinup days, acting all defiant with Madhuri Dixit in 'Dil'. They had great chemistry in this film.

Favourite Aamir performances: Rangeela (didn’t like the film that much, but LOVED the way he said ‘Arre Milli’ in it – I know, ‘tis random), Dil Chahta Hai (loved the way he clowned around with the boys and with Preity. ‘Jaane kyon, jaane kyon, jaane kyon, jaane kyon, jaane kyon’ – sorry just having a brief DCH moment).

Least fave: Akele Hum, Akele Tum (he wasn’t actually bad in this movie, but I can’t get over the fact that it’s almost a scene-for-scene copy of Kramer v. Kramer; and when I hear that ‘Yes, I love you Daddy’ song that sounds kinda like the theme song from ‘Love Story’, I’m not sure whether to say ‘how cute’ or just to throw up.)


3. SAIF ALI KHAN:



I know... I could at least have found a photo that showed his face... but still.. it's a great view, ne-c'est-pas?

Reasons I love Saif Ali Khan. He’s cute. He does boyish very well. He does funny and charming very well. He does mischievous very well. BUT I’m finding he also does serious, mature and deep very well. I like the fact that he seems to be growing and developing as an actor. He’s an expressive and honest actor. He throws himself into each movie. He’s cool. He seems intelligent. He seems like good fun. He seems like the boy-next-door despite having famous parents (although I've heard he's not as down-to-earth as he seems). He seems like a guy who is just trying to make it – aww, bless his heart. He’s been a bit 'controversial' by marrying an older woman for love – I like that, even if it didn’t work out. He’s cute – but I think I already said that.

Favourite Saif performances: Kal Ho Naa Ho (he totally overshadowed my SRK in this movie. I loved the chemistry between his character and SRK’s character), Parineeta (in a challenging role, I think he did very well – I was impressed).

Least fave: You know what? I actually haven’t badly disliked Saif in any movies yet (at least, the ones I’ve seen) and haven’t disliked any of his movies badly either. Will update this as soon as I do. It’s bound to happen eventually.


4. SALMAN KHAN:


So, Uzo, I get to finally answer your question. Why is Salman my least favourite Khan? You know what? It’s hard to express. But like my little sis would say: ‘I just don’t like him’. Maybe it’s that sugar-sweet, I’m so cute, I’m so funny, I’m so fake-pretend half-Italian (ok, I know, low blow, that wasn’t actually his fault) thing he does sometimes. Maybe it’s the fact that he is determined to show off his pecs NO MATTER WHAT. He just has to take that shirt off and pump some iron at some point. Maybe I think the pecs are a little too large and He-Man-ish for my personal taste.


Maybe he’s just too cheesy and over-eager. Maybe he tries a little too hard ‘Neelam? He he. Yo Neelam!’ Maybe he just feels very ’80s to me – and not in a cute ‘Hello, is it me you’re looking for’, Cosby Show-ish way; more like in a bad the-guys-from-the-A Night at the Roxbury-movie-or-whatever-that-Will-Ferrell-movie-was-called; Rico-Suave-ish way. For some reason, in his real life he seems rather insecure and a bit of a baby at his not-exactly-spring-chicken-ish age – and what was that whole thing with Aishwarya? Didn’t she say he abused her or something? And did he really shoot a croc or something crazy like that? Ok, I’ll get off the personal life track now before I confuse anyone. This is supposed to be about his acting.

The truth is, having said all that, Salman is not that bad. He may be my least favourite Khan, but I’ve enjoyed several movies he’s been in. Really and truly I have.

Favourite Salman performance: Chori Chori Chupke Chupke (he was really good in this film, which had a really silly storyline but got by on good acting), Hum Aapke Hain Koun (he was young, wide-eyed and kinda goofy-cute, and he said ‘Painting, bhaiyya, painting, which was kinda cute)
Salman, Rani and borrowed baby in 'Chori Chori Chupke Chupke'

Least fave: Lucky – No Time for Love (this is an absolutely painful watch and should be seen by no-one), Pyaar Kiya To Darna Kya (once he did his shirtless-rock-star number, not even the presence of my screen faves Dharmendra, Kajol and VK could make this finish this film – drats, I could have had 5 movies on my Dharmendra-movies-I’ve-seen list. LOL

Who’s tagged?

Did I mention that this was a tag? So, I tag the following lucky 4 ‘Khans’:

Beth Loves Bollywood
Maja
Sheetal Makhan
T-Hype

I hope someone on the above list is up to this (and if no-one really is, someone please just take pity on me and do it anyway). Basically (and as briefly or longwinded-ly as you like), what’s your order of preference for the 4 Khans, and which 2 performances of each one do you like most and dislike most?

AŠOKA AND THE ASHES

I just saw ‘Ašoka’. Shah Rukh Khan is flaming HOT in this movie. Why did no-one tell me this?Oh my gosh, he is just so delish, so scrummy, so… sigh. And the way he handles that sword of his… UNBELIEVABLE. I love him in many movies, but I think his cuteness factor in ‘Ašoka’ is through the roof. But I say the very same thing after watching a lot of SRK movies…

Hot smiling (sort of)...

Still hot scowling...

I’ve stayed away from ‘Ašoka’ for a long time, because I’m always a bit suspicious of movies that are always in the Bargain basement on Amazon.co.uk, Play.com and the theHut.co.uk (which is where I get a lot of my Bollywood DVDs. The ‘Beliefs, Blackness and Bollywood’ blog (see, Sheetal, I can do it, bahut bahut shukriya!!) has just turned me on to Nehaflix, and I’m not sure whether to thank t-hype or not for unwittingly showing me another place to spend money! – but I digress. Nehaflix is cool, though). Anyway, ‘Ašoka’ was always cheaper than other movies on my ‘regular’ websites (although, to be fair, so was ‘Monsoon Wedding’ and I really liked it), so I thought it just might not be very good. And the reviews I read on different sites were a mixed bag.

But I am SOOO glad I got this film. Apart from the fact that SRK is the very hotness in this movie:

it’s quite a good film. The fight scenes are really nicely shot, good cinematography, nice sets, good costumes, really well-produced. There are one or two discordant notes – some of the music is too ‘modern’ for the film, for example; but altogether it’s really solid and praiseworthy, as far as Bollywood productions go.

For those not in the know, in ‘Ašoka’, Shah Rukh Khan plays Prince Ašoka, a very brave (and according to SRK’s version, tres sexy) ancient prince. Kareena Kapoor plays an ancient warrior princess, Kaurwaki. Ašoka and Kaurwaki are both victims of power struggles, and they are also from enemy kingdoms. And so, naturally, a lot of ‘stuff’ happens – political intrigues, family tensions, divided loyalties fighting, and of course… prem. Kareena Kapoor is a pleasant surprise in this film. I almost despised her after watching her performance as ‘Poo’ in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. But here she is solid. Her acting in ‘Ašoka’ really cannot be criticised, she steps up to the plate and does a very good job in a pivotal role. I actually liked her strong but emotional and nuanced performance in ‘Ašoka’. Now I’m forced to acknowledge that Bebo actually is a good actress (so what happened in K3G?).

Random thought: the cute little Prince Arya (Kareena’s character’s brother) is played by an adorable kid. He looks especially sweet dancing with SRK in one of the musical numbers.

‘Ašoka’ is a good watch… I enjoyed it.

And now for the piece de resistance (my favourite SRK shot in this movie):

Gotcha!!